Health Care Bill Is Good Unless You Like Being Sick and Broke

A scholar (quarterback) by the name of Ricky Stanzi said it best when he said “America…if you don’t love it, leave it.” I have seen more ignorant people bitching and moaning on their facebook or twitter page recently about the new health care bill than I see at a Pacers game. Have I heard some decent arguments by actual educated people? Sure I have, but most of those educated people are swimming in money. I am not a political expert, but I have gone above and beyond the requirements to graduate the University of Iowa with a political science degree so I know a thing or two. I’m going to attempt to put this health care debate into terms a young 16-35 year old person can understand.

First of all, people screaming “socialism” are fucking retarded. Did you work yesterday? Super! Good for you! How much are they paying now at Townie Bar X? $10 dollars an hour?!? Wowzers!. So you worked 40 hours this week and your check wasn’t $400 exactly??! That’s an outrage! I would take the community car, drive home on the dirt path past the schools only the wealthy can afford, the witch doctors operating out of a shack and go to your house, where anybody can break in at anytime and there is no law enforcement to stop it. That’s not how your city is? You have tax funded roads? You have private property such as cars and homes? You can choose the schools you want to attend and doctors to attend to you? AND you have paid law enforcement that is “ideally” not corrupt and restrained by unbiased courts? Weird.

Unless you prefer the Wild West or hermit-ism, you probably should quit complaining about your taxes. When comparing U.S. tax rates to other countries such as France, Germany, UK, or Denmark, the U.S. is way lower. This includes sales tax rates by the way. Although if that’s that big a problem, go to the Mall Of America and do all your shopping. Socialism in America by taxation? Hardly. This new health care bill is raising taxes and taxes will be raised on most of us young college aged or post-college adults, THAT ARE FUCKING LOADED. If you went to college and majored in…let’s say…basketball. And your name happens to be…let’s say…Derrick Rose. Then odds are you are making over $200,000 a year on your own (or a couple making over $250,000 a year). Will a slight tax raise affect you? Likely not. It may mean you can only wear new Jordans every 3 days instead of every two days, but just get new shoelaces on the 3rd day and it’s like a brand new pair of shoes. It is doubtful I will ever make over $200,000 a year. If it does happen I will be too blinded with tears of joy to see the money I’m losing by being in a higher tax bracket. I have yet to meet someone my age, who isn’t a professional athlete, who is affected by these tax hikes.

Secondly, I know most of you socialism-screamers haven’t seen the inside of a classroom since you broke into the old high school two years ago to steal the art room’s glue for huffin’, but I would have never went to college without the Pell Grant programs and financial aid. My dad is a retired coach, and my mom is a single mother with two grade-school aged girls who works overtime each week as a mail carrier. Think they can shell out $15,000 a year for in-state tuition? No way. It is a shame I messed up my ankle and lost out on my Duke Basketball scholarship, but life goes on. To bring it full circle, this new health care bill also has a loophole to INCREASE pell grants. Isn’t that horrible! Why should each kid get an equal shot to attending a university!?! Blasphemy! And again average American, this won’t affect your taxes!

Third point: This will kill small businesses! Let’s say I own a construction business called “UneducatedPoliticallyIgnorantPeople Construction”. I have four 10-man crews working on things around the city. It’s all good for me. Life is good. Now I hire another 10-man crew. Uh-oh, now I have 50 employees and I will be receiving tax credits to help them with getting health insurance. First thing, 50 employees isn’t a small business anymore. Second, if you have 50 employees and don’t provide insurance you are probably a piss-poor boss anyway. So no, this bill will NOT kill small businesses in the least.

Let’s talk costs. Will this bill costs money to implement and run? Of course it will. We already went over the Richie rich’s who are actually getting taxes raised, but how much will the total cost be. It is estimated it will cost us around $940 billion over the next ten years. It also extends the solvency of Medicare by 9 years, and reduces the growth of Medicare expenditures in the 10-year budget window by 1.4 percentage points. This seems like a lot of money, except when you figure we have already spent well over $1 trillion dollars in Iraq and Afghanistan over the last nine years and continue to spend not only millions of dollars daily, but also continue to lose American lives. Good work W.

32 million Americans that do not have health care will get health care under this bill. It is true. I heard Obama say it in person today. He also commented on how after he signed the bill, there were no asteroids raining down or cracks opening up in the earth, so no need to call Cusack, sorry crazy Republican leaders. I am one of those 32 million Americans who are getting health care because now, under the “Armageddon Health Care Bill” people can stay on their parents insurance until age 26. I am in tip-top shape, but let’s pretend a week ago I was attacked by a polar bear or a smoke monster whole spring breaking on LOST Island. I would have been totally F’d. No insurance a week ago. Now…Thanks Mom for insuring my medical care.

To make a long story short, if you don’t support this bill, then that is your prerogative. If your raking in the dough at a greater clip than $200,000 a year, then more power to you to disapprove of this. If you hate pell grants, then picket away. If you dislike “small” businesses fulfilling their responsibilities to their 50+ employees, than write your senator. If you enjoy paying for overcrowded emergency rooms and free clinics, then vote out the supporters of this bill. If you hate being healthy, then damn the 44th presidential administration, because what kind of political monsters would promote healthy people?!? The Apartheid sure didn’t and they seemed alright…right? However, look at the facts before listening to Glenn Beck and jumping on your crazy conservative army tank and invading Washington. This bill is very likely good for you. And besides, who invades somewhere and spends billions for no reason…right Republicans?