NL West Preview

Los Angeles Dodgers – The Rock

Why The Rock? – The Dodgers are that flashy team that might just have more talent than anybody in the majors. The Rock was the most electrifying man in sports entertainment, and for my money, the Dodgers are the most electrifying team in the MLB. Mannywood, Big Jonathon Broxton, Matt Kemp’s breakout year, Andre Ethier’s walkoff hits, all this excites that usual late-coming L.A. crowd. Joe Torre is one of the best managers in Major League history and it doesn’t matter what you think about his strategies. I really feel the Dodgers have COME BACK as the premier team in L.A. Sorry Lakers and that other L.A. basketball team…IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! IF YA SMELLLLLLL WHAT VIN SCULLY IS COOKIN!


What I like – I am actually one of the few staying on the Dodgers bandwagon this year. A lot of experts want to ride the Rockies or Giants to the NL West crown, but I’m sticking with the blue. The Dodgers have the best outfield in baseball. Andre Ethier (.272, 31 HR, 106 RBI), Manny (.290, 19 HR, 63 RBI in only 104 games), and Matt Kemp (.297, 26 HR, 191 RBI) will all have better seasons than 2009. That’s my prediction. Watch out for this outfield if they stay healthy and avoid suspensions (Manny). I look for James Loney and Russell Martin to have comeback years, and if Rafael Furcal can stay healthy, he should score quite a few runs in that leadoff spot. I love Casey Blake, but I have my doubts about him and Jamey Carroll hitting 7-8. I saw that in Cleveland and it didn’t work out too well. Better start Ronnie Belliard.
I also think the Dodgers have the best bullpen in the majors. Broxton, George Sherrill and Ronald Belisario are all reliable relievers with nasty stuff. The starters led by Clayton Kershaw will be young and talented, but if they produce remains to be seen.

Questions – Will Jamey Carroll or Ronnie Belliard start at second base? My money is on Ronnie. He shined in the playoffs last year, and Torre is a Belliard fan. Will Chad Billingsley be the Billingsley from the first half of 2009 or the second? The Dodgers are hoping the first. Can Hiroki Kuroda recover from his last season struggles and the ball that bounced off his head into the stands? The Dodgers have questions no doubt, but if I had to put my money on one person to answer those questions effectively and get them in the W column, it would be Joe Torre.

2009 Record – 95-67
2010 prediction – 93-69

Colorado Rockies – Chris Jericho

Why Jericho? – The Rockies are perpetually underrated, much like Jericho. Three years ago they got to the World Series, returned the core pieces all healthy for 2009 and nobody gave them any love until their usual September push. Jericho has been performing at a high level for years now, but never gets the appreciation he deserves, much like Todd Helton and Troy Tulowitzki. Granted, Helton is better suited for that analogy since Tulo is young, but both are underappreciated. Both Jericho and the Rockies are almost always overlooked (except by some experts picking Colorado to overtake the Dodgers for the NL West this year I suppose), but always put on a good show and hold their own.

What I like – It all starts with a healthy Troy Tulowitzki. Granted it was not only Tulo who was injured in 2008, but we saw what happened to the Rockies in 2008 without him. I like outfielders Carlos Gonzalez and Dexter Fowler, but both need to raise their OBP a little bit. The young arms on Colorado are explosive. Ubaldo Jimenez, Aaron Cook and Jorge De La Rosa could all be 15 game winners this year. They also get Jeff Francis back who did not pitch at all in 2009. The bullpen should also be good when Houston Street is closing games and not sitting on the DL.

Questions – How will Chris Ianetta, Ian Stewart and Clint Barmes be at the bottom of the Rockies order. The top of the order should be trouble for opposing pitchers, but the bottom might be lacking in the batting average area. How will Francis come back in 2010? I think Jeff Francis will pitch good, but how good remains to be seen.

2009 Record – 92-70
2010 Prediction -90-72

San Francisco Giants – Jeff Hardy

Why Hardy? – The Giants are Jeff Hardy for a couple reasons. First is drugs. Jeff Hardy has had some well-documented drug problems, but still was one of the best wrestlers in the business. The Giants, through the face of their franchise over the last 10 years, whether it be Barry Bonds or Tim Lincecum, have been associated with drugs (steroids and Timmy’s sweet mary jane). Another comparison can be seen by their “brother”. Jeff Hardy has always been the more exciting of the Hardy brothers, and the Giants have been more exciting than the A’s for a long time in the Bay area. I mean, the A’s wear white spikes. Come on A’s.

What I like – Pitching. The Giants starting pitching is top notch. Of course Lincecum is the reigning Cy Young winner, but Matt Cain is damn good too. Jonathan Sanchez can hold his own which was seen by his no-hitter, and Barry Zito could be tough when he is on. On a side note, anybody who watched The League and didn’t think Taco reminded them of Zito needs to re-look at Zito. I also like the bullpen even though it has a bunch of unknown pitchers. The Mark DeRosa pickup could be huge for the Giants. His versatility and hitting could be a big boost to the lineup and defense.

Questions – Is Edgar Renteria still a major league starter at shortstop? The easy answer is no. He is 34 years old and his range is not what it used to be. It will be interesting to see if he can still play at a level high enough to appease the San Fran fans. Will they score enough runs to win games? This is sketchy. The starting pitching should win them some games, but with the exception of Freddy Sanchez, Pablo Sandoval and DeRosa, the lineup sucks.

2009 record – 88-74
2010 Prediction – 88-74

Arizona Diamondbacks – Christian

Why Christian? - The D-Backs have been the team of the future for years now. Their young talent and farm system are always hyped to the extreme. Christian has always seemed to be just on the cusp of superstardom. Captain Charisma is loved by some hardcore fans, just like Stephen Drew and Justin Upton. The talent is undeniable. The coolness is undeniable. The question is when will they put it all together?

What I like – The young talent. Did you know the D-Backs have young talent? Yeah I figured not. It’s pretty inside information. Stephen Drew, Conor Jackson, Justin Upton and Chris Young are all explosive youngsters with loads of talent. Drew (.261), Jackson (.182 yuck), and Young (.212) all have to get their batting average way up. However, more often than not, the experts know what they are talking about, and the experts and scouts love these guys. It will happen. Ryan Roberts is no slouch either. Last year he hit .279 which is damn good for a #8 hitter in the NL.
The starting pitching for Arizona is also really good. Their 1-2 can be scary good if Brandon Webb comes back from injury like the old Brandon Webb and Dan Haren shakes his spring struggles. The addition of Edwin Jackson as a #3 pitcher is an under the radar pickup. 13 wins for Detroit and a 3.62 ERA is pretty good.

Questions – Can Chad Qualls lower his 3.63 ERA and be the closer they want him to be? I like Qualls but he needs to get his hits/inning down under one. Will the talent finally come out? This is the biggie. I think it will start to manifest itself, but they are still a year or two away from being really exciting.

2009 Record – 70-92
2010 Prediction – 79-83

San Diego Padres – Mr. Fuji

Why Fuji? – The Padres are Mr. Fuji because Fuji was always just a manager for hire. He threw salt in people’s eyes, hit them with a Japanese flag, or hooked their leg with his cane. Adrian Gonzalez is essentially a hired guns this year. I do not see him being in A Whales Vagina by July. Same goes for Heath Bell. I fell like the first couple months is their tryout for another team, and then it is full blown rebuilding for the Padres. Fuji always popped up with a different team and found success. Maybe the Pad’s can follow suit.

What I like – Adrian Gonzalez. He is a man. He, and his 40 HR’s and 99 RBI’s will be gone though, leaving others such as Tony Gwynn Jr. to shoulder the load. Not a lot to like about this Padres team. Although, I do want to see how Tim Stauffer throws this year as a full season starter. He was featured in a book I read about the Cape League, so that should be interesting.
Questions – Where will the offense come from without Gonzalez? I really do not know. Kevin Kuzmanoff is slated as the cleanup hitter, and he is only a .255 hitter with 18 HR’s. Will the Pitching keep them respectable? I think the pitching will be alright, and I like Clayton Richard that they got from Chicago for Jake Peavey, but overall, there isn’t enough of anything to keep them competitive this year.

2009 Record – 75-87
2010 Prediction – 67-98

NL Central Preview

St. Louis Cardinals – Macho Man Randy Savage

Why Macho Man? – The Cardinals are second all time in World Series titles. It could be argued that they are an underrated franchise because often the Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs, Dodgers, White Sox and others are thought of as being rich in history while leaving out the Cards. The Macho Man is one of the most underrated wrestlers of all time. Seriously. Go back and watch Wrestlemania’s 1-8 and tell me that Macho was not awesome. Also, Macho Man always had the prettiest girl on his arm in Miss Elizabeth. The 2010 Cardinals have the “prettiest girl” on their arm in the form of Albert Pujols.

What I like – I think there is a lot to like about the Cardinals in 2010. The outfield of Matt Holliday, Colby Rasmus and Ryan Ludwick could be really good. Just don’t have Holliday play at Dodger stadium during the late afternoon hours. Holliday went on a tear when he came over to St. Louis last year, and he provides teams with more incentive to pitch to Albert. I still like Yadier Molina behind the plate. He is fantastic defensively and not too bad with the stick either. The 1-2 starters are as good as any team in the majors. Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright are real good pitchers. Wainwright also usually has a pretty solid beard. I personally think Brad Penny can be an effective #3 or #4 pitcher in the National League, but that will remain to be seen.

Questions – Will Skip Schumaker and Brendan Ryan hit good enough to set the table for Pujols and Holliday? With Kyle Lohse, Penny, and Jamie Garcia be a decent enough 3-4-5 to keep them winning games when Carpenter and Wainwright doesn’t pitch? Again, I think yes to this question. Penny and Lohse can be very good when on, and very bad when off. I think they will be more on this year than off. Can Ludwick continue to produce runs? Will Rasmus have a sophomore slump? Will the bullpen be sufficient? Ryan Franklin exceded expectations last year, can he do it again? A lot of questions that involve players that played good last year, the real issue is whether they can do it again. I think they can and will. I trust Franklin and Ludwick to have good years once again.

2009 Record – 91-71
2010 Prediction – 90-72


Chicago Cubs – John Cena

Why Cena? – I gave the Cubs John Cena not because of a title drought, because Cena is the champion, but because of his perception to fans. Cena is perceived as a fan favorite. The loveable Cena. Real wrestling fans (most real wrestling fans) do not like Cena very much. Batista had about half the crowd behind him at Wrestlemania. The Cubs are the same way. “The loveable losers” are not loveable at all. Many players and commentators, and just informed baseball fans, hate Cubs fans. They care more about drinking than baseball. They are fans for one week in April, whenever they can get tickets, and maybe one week in September and October, but that’s only if they are close to clinching a playoff spot. I would like to point out, I know some very loyal, very smart Cubs fans who I do not think this about. And it is also because I have grown up 3 hours from Wrigley, but there is just way too many first/last week Cubs fans who run their mouths about stuff they don’t know anything about. On another note, I thought about making the Cubs Papa Shango because of the curse, but Papa Shango was simply too awesome.

What I like – I am a Derrek Lee fan. I think Lee gets too much negative stuff written about him when he is in a three game slump, and not enough when he is on fire. Aramis Ramirez, Alfonso Soriano and Kosuke Fukudome seem to be the center of attention all the time, but I’d take Derrek Lee before any of them in a heartbeat. I also think Carlos Zambrano will have a pretty big year. He has been slowly falling out of favor of many experts, but I think he regains that swagger this year.

Questions – Will the rest of the rotation after Big Z be sufficient to get them a playoff spot? I am saying no. I do not like Ted Lilly as a number 2 starter. Dempster has been overrated for two years, Randy Wells might be alright, but Tom Gorzelanny isn’t the answer for the number five spot. Not a fan of the rotation. Will the bullpen be a disaster again? I say no on this also. I think Carlos Marmol has nasty stuff. He is a closer, plain and simple. It is about time they stopped messing around and put him there. This will be an unpopular opinion, but I am not big on Geovany Soto. I think his rookie year could be his career year. Yes, I understand he has talent, but I think he shot his wad early and will never match the production he had in 2008.

2009 Record – 83-78
2010 Prediction – 82-79

Milwaukee Brewers – Kane

Why Kane? – The Brewers are Kane because they are like the little brother of the Cubs. Up until the C.C. 2008 run, Miller Park was often called Wrigley Field North. If the Cubs are the equivalent of the Undertaker when it comes to national notoriety and ticket sales, then the Brewers are just a step behind them. Granted, I used Cena fo the Cubs, but you get the analogy. Anyway, the Brewers notable players are big and strong like Kane. Kane was awesome when he had a mask on (we will relate this to Sabathia and Prince Fielder on the same field), but just not quite as awesome without the mask (just Fielder’s big ass occupying Miller Park). Also, the Brew Crew has some fire power as seen by Ryan Braun and Fielder, just like the Big Red Machine (ah, Big Red Machine, should have used him for Cincinnati).

What I like – I love the Braun-Fielder duo. One of the best 1-2 punches in all of baseball. I think Braun is the more complete hitter, but Fielder is good for 40+ home runs in his sleep. Last year the Bruan-Fielder duo combined for 255 RBIs. That could be even more this year with a healthy Rickie Weeks leading off and Corey Hart in the two hole. I also really like the addition of Carlos Gomez in center. He is a little bit crazy, but baseball needs more crazy. Yovani Gallardo should be a 15-17 game winner this year. He has good stuff, and went over 200 K’s last year. I expect big things out of him. Having Randy Wolf on the staff should help him get his head on straight also.

Questions – Is Gregg Zaun really a starting catcher? The answer is no, but the Brewers don’t have any other options. Will the losses of Mike Cameron, J.J. Hardy, Felipe Lopez and Jason Kendall hurt the Brewers or usher in a new era at those positions? I think it will be very interesting to see how Gomez, Zaun, and Alcides Escobar fill in for those players. Will the bullpen show it’s age, or will it have some of that veteran savvy and be consistent? Trevor Hoffman is nearing retirement age. He will be 64 in June, so it will be interesting if he can continue to walk out to the mound with Hells Bells playing or if they will have to switch it to something more age appropriate like “The Twist”.

2009 Record – 80-82
2010 Prediction – 84-78

Cincinnati Reds – Rowdy Roddy Piper

Why Piper? – The Reds were the team of the 70’s with the Big Red Machine bringing in titles, then again in the late 80’s and early 90’s with Barry Larkin and crew. Yet, because of people like Ken Griffey Jr., Brandon Phillips, Adam Dunn, Josh Hamilton and Edinson Volquez they remain entertaining, much like the Hot Rod. Roddy was a top performer in the 80’s and early 90’s then had guest appearances here and there and was always entertaining not only in the ring, but also on the mic, and also chasing Golddust in a white Ford Bronco at Wrestlemania 12. The Reds have some real excitement this year starting with Aroldis Chapman, and who can honestly say they watched Raw last Monday night and wasn’t excited when they heard the bagpipes?

What I like – The pitching staff could be very solid this year, even without Volquez. Aaron Harang is always underrated. Johnny Cueto is due for a breakout year. Bronson Arroyo, Homer Bailey, and Micah Owings are question marks, but at least Owings is good for a few homers. I also like Chris Dickerson in left field. He might not be an all-star but he is a very solid #2 hitter in my opinion. I’m looking for Joey Votto and Jay Bruce to have good seasons, especially Bruce since he is healthy this year. Brandon Phillips will be solid as usual.

Questions – The bullpen will be questionable. Francisco Cordero is listed as the closer and Arthur Rhodes as the set up man. Really? Arthur Rhodes? Also, I don’t like the Scott Rolen addition at third. He hit .270 with 3 HR and 24 RBI in 40 games for the Reds last year, and I don’t see that improving much. We all saw what happened to Rolen last time he played in the N.L. Central with St. Louis. The Reds fans might be packing his bags halfway through the year like Cards fans were doing a few years ago. The real question is when Chapman will make his debut and how good he will be. All signs point to him being a lights out starter, but who knows. They said that about Dice-K also.

2009 Record – 78-84
2010 Prediction – 75-87

Houston Astros – Ric Flair

Why Flair? – Well it certinaly isn’t because of the simalarities between titles won, because Flair trumps them there. It is because both look older every day, both use the same formula every season or match and never seem to stray from it, and both are essentially boring. Sorry wrestling fans, Flair is boring as a wrestler. Also, Bret Hart made him sound like a douche in his book. I side with the Hitman.

What I like – I like the young guys on Houston. Hunter Pence and Michael Bourn are solid outfielders. Both should hit over .280 and Bourn will steal at least 40 bases. I also think Wandy Rodriguez is an underrated pitcher. He only had 14 wins last year but his ERA was 3.02 in 33 games. That’s real low.

Questions – Are Lance Berkman and Roy Oswalt too old to be the centerpiece of a franchise. My inkling is yes. Will Carlos Lee begin to slow down even more? Last year he only had 26 HR and 102 RBI. Still really good numbers, but not what he should be doing for the expectations placed on him. Should Kaz Matsui being leading off? Is Roy Oswalt healthy? Will the bottom three of the rotation win any games? Lots of questions about age and health surrounding the 2010 Astros.

2009 Record – 74-88
2010 Record – 69-93

Pittsburgh Pirates – Golddust

Why Golddust? – the Pirates come from great lineage, like Glolddust. (Although I never really like the American Dream Dusty Rhoades as a wrestler so that’s up for debate). The Pirates also have a beautiful ballpark. PNC Park is one of the nicest parks in the majors in my opinion, much like Golddust’s gimmick and wife for a time, Terri Runnels. Another comparison can be made for the lack of a solid identity. Seems like the WWE is always doing something different with Golddust, or forgetting him all together. The Pirates fans often forget about the Pirates at the beginning of May.

What I like – I love Andrew McCutchen. I think he will be an all-star someday, just probably not with the Pirates. After all the trades over the last few years, it is time the Pirates build a foundation and try to build a winner. I think that starts with McCutchen, Garrett Jones and Lasting Milledge in the outfield and Ryan Doumit behind the plate. I think the pitching staff will be decent. No ace’s on this staff, but Zach Duke, Paul Maholm and Ross Ohlendorf should be serviceable.

Questions – With Matt Capps gone, will the bullpen be any good? I doubt it. Should Ronny Cedeno be a starting shortstop? Also, doubtful. Will the Pirates have yet another losing season? Yes. Watch out Undertaker, here they come after your streak.

2009 Record – 62-99
2010 Prediction – 64-98

NL East

Philadelphia Phillies – Batista

Why Basista? – The Phillies are powerful. They have power everywhere. Ryan Howard (45 Hr, 141 RBI), Chase Utley (31 HR, 93 RBI), Jimmy Rollins (21 HR, 77 RBI) , Jayson Werth (36 HR, 99 RBI), Shane Victorino (10 HR, 62 RBI), Raul Ibanez (34 HR, 93 RBI)and now with Palcido Polanco at 3rd, these big boppers have someone to hit in. The Phillies are also like Batista in the sense that they are not hated nationally like some teams, but nor are they loved like some teams (See: Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs). This can be seen by the 2008 and 2009 World Series. Against the Rays they are rooted against, but against the Yankees they were supposed to be the savior to stand up to them.

What I like – I Love the lineup as I mentioned. When watching the Phillies play, such as in the NLCS last year against the Dodgers, it feels like every inning they could score 4-5 runs. It is a modern day Murder’s Row. I am thinking Ibanez will not match last year’s numbers, but there is no reason to believe Howard, Utley and Werth should not continue to pound the ball.
The pitching staff is also very solid. Roy Halliday, Cole Hammels, Joe Blanton, J.A. Happ and Jamie Moyer all won over 10 games last year. I have my doubts about Moyer because of his age, and Blanton is far from unhittable. The key to the Phillies pitching success rests with how Hammels pitches. Will he be the 2008 Cole Hammels or the 2009 Cole Hammels? He had moments of his former self last season, but he also suffered in some games in 2009. Also, is it just me, or does anybody else secretly wish Roy Halliday gets either injured or just has an out of character bad year? The Phillies wanted him so bad last year, then had to “settle” for Cliff Lee, who turned out to be their ace and a tremendous playoff pitcher. Then, they trade Lee, bring in Halliday, and think they have it all figured out. Can Halliday really be any better than Lee was in a Phillies uniform? I don’t see it happening. He could be an 18 game winner, and he still wouldn’t equal the success Lee has with Philly.

Questions – The main question for the Phillies exists in the bullpen. Brad Lidge will not break camp with the team it is being reported, so it appears Ryan Madson will start as the closer. He is shaky in my eyes. The other question is age of the lineup. Can Utley, Rollins and Ibanez stay healthy for the whole year and produce at the rate they did last year?

2009 Record – 93-69
2010 Prediction – 95-67

Atlanta Braves – The Undertaker

Why The Undertaker? - The Braves were the un-dying team in the 90’s and 2000’s. They won 14 straight division titles, and seemed to always win them the same way: solid hitting and great pitching. The Braves streak rivals that of The Taker’s 18-0 Wrestlemania streak. It is debatable if The Undertaker is in fact dead, which is also debatable regarding Bobby Cox. This is Cox’s farewell tour, and it will remain to be seen if they can raise from the dead once again and upset the Phillies for the Division crown.

What I like – The Braves pitching should be much improved. Derek Lowe always seems to be underrated coming into the season and always produces. A lot of hype surrounds Tommy Hanson’s young arm, and Tim Hudson has been lights out in the spring. The lineup still poses questions, but the addition of Jason Heyward should help produce runs and put butts in the seats. Cox compared Heyward to a young Hank Aaron. With a healthy Chipper Jones and the young Heyward they should produce more runs than last year.

Questions – Can Nate McLouth hit better than the .257 he hit last year? Can Billy Wagner effectively close games? Also, I’m not quite sure about the Troy Glaus addition at third, and the Melky Cabrera addition to the outfield.

2009 Record – 86-76
2010 Prediction – 89-73

Mets – The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase

Why DiBiase? – The Mets also spend a bunch of money, much like Dibiase, yet, they always underachieve. Not to say The Million Dollar Man underachieved, but he never won the big one. Never got over that hump. The Mets better get over that hump soon before their stars begin to age.

What I like – The 3-4-5 of the Mets is as good as any team in baseball with Jason Bay hitting behind David Wright and Carlos Beltran. Jose Reyes is still one of the best shortstops in baseball when he is on. I still like K-Rod closing, but he no longer has J.J. Putz to set him up.

Questions – Will Jose Reyes be on? His 2009 season was a mess of bad play and injuries. He only played 36 games, but during those games only hit .279. I also question the pitching staff. Johan Santana has looked shaky all spring and after him the rotation suffers. Santana has to be a 20 game winner for the Mets to make a division champion or title push. How will they adjust to Carlos Delgado leaving town? Are they used to Citi Field yet? Lots of questions surrounding the Mets.

2009 Record – 70-92
2010 Prediction – 84-78

Marlins – Rey Mysterio

Why Mysterio? – The Marlins are that little scrappy team who always seems to overachieve. Their payroll is small, as is Mysterio. The Marlins are also somewhat of an exciting team because they are scrappy under manager Freddi Gonzalez. Their teal colors are also reminiscent of some hideous ring attire Mysterio might wear. Speaking of which, his costume at Wrestlemania 26 looked like former WWF wrestler Max Moon was an Avatar. Awful.

What I Like – Hanley Ramirez. Hanley Ramirez. Hanley Ramirez. I love Ramirez and would love to see the Marlins build around him instead of letting him be swayed eventually by the Yankees or Red Sox. With the new stadium coming to downtown Miami, it almost seems like they need Ramirez to be the face of their franchise, much like the Twins figured out with Joe Mauer. I also like Jorge Cantu and Josh Johnson, but those three are not enough to win them many games in the tough NL East.

Questions – The Bullpen is basically a bunch of unknowns. It remains to be seen what they have in the pen. Ricky Nolasco, Chris Volstad, Sean West and Andrew Miller round out the rotation. The question then becomes: Who the hell is Ricky Nolasco and why is he a #2 starter.

2009 Record – 87-75
2010 prediction – 81-81

Nationals – Sgt. Slaughter

Why Slaughter? – The Nationals franchise saw their better days as the Montreal Expos; much like Slaughter saw his best success as an “Iraqi sympathizer”. The U.S.A. just did not bring out the best in these two. Also, much like Slaughter, they Nationals are pretty fucking boring. Maybe Stephen Strasburg can change that.

What I like – Not a whole heck of a lot. Ryan Zimmerman is a star. He is a great ball player, but he isn’t the most exciting player in the world, and I don’t see many people lining up to buy tickets to see Ryan Zimmerman. I also like Nyjer Morgan. I love his rolled up pants and hustle. He is like a young Juan Pierre when Pierre was good.

Questions – When will Strasburg come up? That’s the question surrounding the Nationals and will be 90% of Nationals talk until it actually happens. Another question is why Jim Riggleman got another managing job? Also, will Ivan Rodriguez receive his salary plus Medicare this year?

2009 Record – 59-103
2010 Prediction – 62 - 100

MLB Season Preview

I wanted to do my own MLB season preview because I watch way too much baseball to not have opinions on how this season will go down. I want to thank my dad for buying MLB Extra Innings for the last 5 or so years and making me have very little semblance of a life in the summer. To explain how I do my preview I will need you to first understand what happened this past Sunday in Arizona. At Wrestlemania 26, Shawn Michaels, my favorite wrestler ever, had his career end, losing a career match against The Undertaker. It was honestly the best match I have ever witnessed, and made me realize how different the WWE will be without Shawn. With that being said, I have been watching a lot of wrestling lately. So, With each MLB team, I will have them represented by a past or current WWF Superstar. This was not easy to do, as some teams could have went with many superstars, while some didn't really relate to any superstars. I apologize to some wrestlers who were not represented by a team. This list includes Baston Boger, Doink the Clown, Papa Shango, Akeem, Jack Swagger, X-pac, and many, many others. Also, I use some stats, but I am not huge on stats to start the season. Players have on and off years. That's a fact. Injuries, new teams, new ballparks, slumps, all play a role in the players previous years performance. So in short, I try to use stats some, but more so I look at the stats and I reflect on how that team and player actually played. My preview involves more reflection on performance, predictions on future performance, and overall gut feeling as to how this team will do. I have divided it up into three sections: Why that team is represented by that particular wrestler, what I like about the team, and questions surrounding the team. Then I give a prediction as to the 2010 record of that team. So without further ado...My 2010 predictions by division.

SportsCenter Experts

I have been hearing a lot of what I like to call “Sportscenter experts” saying recently that they didn’t pick Kansas to win the national championship because they knew they would lose. What I refer to as a “Sportscenter expert (SCE)” is someone who has watched maybe 5-10 games all year, and then watched Sportscenter to learn everything they know about teams. All of us at some point go to the ESPN staple for some of our info, but I watch, at least, anywhere from 6-12 college and NBA basketball games each week from November through April, and I don’t like to have to arguments with ill-informed SCE’s. Anyway, back to my point, some people, including a girl who doesn’t know how much a 3-pointer is worth, told me they didn’t pick Kansas because they seemed ready to lose. First of all, I feel bad labeling these people as SCE’s because many of the real “experts” did pick Kansas. I picked Kansas, and if they restarted the tournament tomorrow, I’d do it again. I don’t feel the need to defend myself to these morons, but I will do it anyway. Why I picked Kansas to win it all.

1) Consistency – Someone said yesterday that Kansas had been inconsistent and had too many close game this year. What?!? They were 32-2 going into the tournament! Of those 32 wins, only seven were by single digits! Seven! That’s 25 wins by double digits in the tough Big 12. Their two losses were quality losses (@ Tennessee playing against a Vol team that had nothing to lose, and by the way is still playing, and @ Oklahoma State where Big 12 player of the year James Anderson went off with a 27/8/3/2/2 game) and their single digit wins came against good opponents too (K-State by 8 in Big12 tourny final, Memphis by 2 in November, Cornell by 5, Baylor by 6, @K-state by 2, @ Colorado by 6, and @ Texas A&M by 5). Look up their impressive double digit wins if this doesn’t convince you of their consistency yet.

2) Coaching – Bill Self has solidified himself as a top coach in NCAA basketball. Self took Tulsa to the elite eight in 2000, which is preposterous to think of Tulsa in the elite eight. He also took Illinois to the elite eight, and built the team that Bruce Webber took to the national championship game. Then at Kansas he has taken them to two elite eights, one sweet sixteen and won the 2008 national championship. He also took that team of leftovers last year to the second round and won the Big 12 Coach of the Year. Self is not a notorious choker coach as some label him as. He has his teams ready and wins more often than he loses. Kansas’s dominant run through the Big 12 Tournament is evidence to this, and the Big 12 was tough this year. I head a SCE’s argument that the Big 12 sucked because Iowa Sate was supposed to be good and was not. Doesn’t this prove the Big12 was good since everybody had their way with an improved Iowa State team? The bad thing about Self – he didn’t press UNI until the final 2 minutes of the game. I have spent a paragraph hyping Self, but that was real fucking stupid. Press a slow white team and move on. Period.

3) Comparisons to 2009 champion North Carolina – Who didn’t see these comparisons. Sherron Collins as the savvy veteran point guard (Ty Lawson). Cole Aldridge as the big white guy inside who always gets his numbers (Hansbrough). Xavier Henry as the exciting wing man who can explode on any given night (Danny Green). Morningstar and the Morris Brothers as the role players who always fill their role (Ed Davis, Wayne Ellington, Deon Thompson). We all saw how it worked out for the Tar Heels.

4) Scoring options - This may go along with the comparisons part, but Kansas was so balanced all year and always seemed to have someone who could step up. This usually bodes well for tournament teams so that they don’t rely on one scorer. (Update: See Ohio State v Tennessee in Sweet Sixteen)

So Kansas let me down, but you know what? Like I said earlier, I would pick them again in a heartbeat.


On another point, where is the love for the Big Ten? The Big Ten has three teams in the sweet sixteen. Two of these teams won their last games over a #4 and a #5 seed without their best player! Ohio State has been great all year, and would have been better had Evan Turner not missed those games with the broken back. Northwestern might have made a tournament run had they not lost their best player (Kevin Cobble) the entire season to injury. Sure, Minnesota and Michigan underachieved and Illinois got arguably snubbed, but, who thought Wisconsin would be a 4 seed AND knock off Duke in the ACC/Big Ten challenge? (Which by the way, was won by the Big Ten). All three remaining teams could lose tonight and the conference will be ridiculed again. However, isn’t it time to give some love to the Big Ten for holding their own in the tournament against teams such as Georgia Tech, Siena, Texas A&M and Maryland? Especially when you consider how other big time conferences are faring. The Big12 looks good with Kansas State and Baylor rolling but the Big East is in shambles. Notre Dame, Georgetown, Marquette, Villanova and Pittsburgh all got upset by much lower seeds. The ACC has the Dukies and that’s about it. The SEC is clinging to Kentucky and Tennessee since A&M went down to Purdue. The mid-majors look good with St. Marys, UNI, Butler and Xavier all having good showings, but the Big Ten has perhaps been the most resilient conference all year and it deserves some notice.

Health Care Bill Is Good Unless You Like Being Sick and Broke

A scholar (quarterback) by the name of Ricky Stanzi said it best when he said “America…if you don’t love it, leave it.” I have seen more ignorant people bitching and moaning on their facebook or twitter page recently about the new health care bill than I see at a Pacers game. Have I heard some decent arguments by actual educated people? Sure I have, but most of those educated people are swimming in money. I am not a political expert, but I have gone above and beyond the requirements to graduate the University of Iowa with a political science degree so I know a thing or two. I’m going to attempt to put this health care debate into terms a young 16-35 year old person can understand.

First of all, people screaming “socialism” are fucking retarded. Did you work yesterday? Super! Good for you! How much are they paying now at Townie Bar X? $10 dollars an hour?!? Wowzers!. So you worked 40 hours this week and your check wasn’t $400 exactly??! That’s an outrage! I would take the community car, drive home on the dirt path past the schools only the wealthy can afford, the witch doctors operating out of a shack and go to your house, where anybody can break in at anytime and there is no law enforcement to stop it. That’s not how your city is? You have tax funded roads? You have private property such as cars and homes? You can choose the schools you want to attend and doctors to attend to you? AND you have paid law enforcement that is “ideally” not corrupt and restrained by unbiased courts? Weird.

Unless you prefer the Wild West or hermit-ism, you probably should quit complaining about your taxes. When comparing U.S. tax rates to other countries such as France, Germany, UK, or Denmark, the U.S. is way lower. This includes sales tax rates by the way. Although if that’s that big a problem, go to the Mall Of America and do all your shopping. Socialism in America by taxation? Hardly. This new health care bill is raising taxes and taxes will be raised on most of us young college aged or post-college adults, THAT ARE FUCKING LOADED. If you went to college and majored in…let’s say…basketball. And your name happens to be…let’s say…Derrick Rose. Then odds are you are making over $200,000 a year on your own (or a couple making over $250,000 a year). Will a slight tax raise affect you? Likely not. It may mean you can only wear new Jordans every 3 days instead of every two days, but just get new shoelaces on the 3rd day and it’s like a brand new pair of shoes. It is doubtful I will ever make over $200,000 a year. If it does happen I will be too blinded with tears of joy to see the money I’m losing by being in a higher tax bracket. I have yet to meet someone my age, who isn’t a professional athlete, who is affected by these tax hikes.

Secondly, I know most of you socialism-screamers haven’t seen the inside of a classroom since you broke into the old high school two years ago to steal the art room’s glue for huffin’, but I would have never went to college without the Pell Grant programs and financial aid. My dad is a retired coach, and my mom is a single mother with two grade-school aged girls who works overtime each week as a mail carrier. Think they can shell out $15,000 a year for in-state tuition? No way. It is a shame I messed up my ankle and lost out on my Duke Basketball scholarship, but life goes on. To bring it full circle, this new health care bill also has a loophole to INCREASE pell grants. Isn’t that horrible! Why should each kid get an equal shot to attending a university!?! Blasphemy! And again average American, this won’t affect your taxes!

Third point: This will kill small businesses! Let’s say I own a construction business called “UneducatedPoliticallyIgnorantPeople Construction”. I have four 10-man crews working on things around the city. It’s all good for me. Life is good. Now I hire another 10-man crew. Uh-oh, now I have 50 employees and I will be receiving tax credits to help them with getting health insurance. First thing, 50 employees isn’t a small business anymore. Second, if you have 50 employees and don’t provide insurance you are probably a piss-poor boss anyway. So no, this bill will NOT kill small businesses in the least.

Let’s talk costs. Will this bill costs money to implement and run? Of course it will. We already went over the Richie rich’s who are actually getting taxes raised, but how much will the total cost be. It is estimated it will cost us around $940 billion over the next ten years. It also extends the solvency of Medicare by 9 years, and reduces the growth of Medicare expenditures in the 10-year budget window by 1.4 percentage points. This seems like a lot of money, except when you figure we have already spent well over $1 trillion dollars in Iraq and Afghanistan over the last nine years and continue to spend not only millions of dollars daily, but also continue to lose American lives. Good work W.

32 million Americans that do not have health care will get health care under this bill. It is true. I heard Obama say it in person today. He also commented on how after he signed the bill, there were no asteroids raining down or cracks opening up in the earth, so no need to call Cusack, sorry crazy Republican leaders. I am one of those 32 million Americans who are getting health care because now, under the “Armageddon Health Care Bill” people can stay on their parents insurance until age 26. I am in tip-top shape, but let’s pretend a week ago I was attacked by a polar bear or a smoke monster whole spring breaking on LOST Island. I would have been totally F’d. No insurance a week ago. Now…Thanks Mom for insuring my medical care.

To make a long story short, if you don’t support this bill, then that is your prerogative. If your raking in the dough at a greater clip than $200,000 a year, then more power to you to disapprove of this. If you hate pell grants, then picket away. If you dislike “small” businesses fulfilling their responsibilities to their 50+ employees, than write your senator. If you enjoy paying for overcrowded emergency rooms and free clinics, then vote out the supporters of this bill. If you hate being healthy, then damn the 44th presidential administration, because what kind of political monsters would promote healthy people?!? The Apartheid sure didn’t and they seemed alright…right? However, look at the facts before listening to Glenn Beck and jumping on your crazy conservative army tank and invading Washington. This bill is very likely good for you. And besides, who invades somewhere and spends billions for no reason…right Republicans?

Thoughts on the Round of 32

Unless you are a die-hard Kansas fan, or are in a bracket pool with a huge buy-in, you had to be cheering for UNI yesterday. Not only did they beat the #1 team in the nation, but they did it despite some shitty calls from the refs. That foul on Koch on the rebound with a little over a minute left?!? Come on! The announcers didn’t even have the balls to say it was a bad call.

I really want to buy the package to get all of the games now that I realize they will schedule 3 Big Ten games at the same time on a Sunday and then show me the one I least want to watch. Thanks CBS and NCAA you fuckers.

The Big Ten went from overrated at the start of the season to underrated now. Michigan State just beat the co-ACC champs without the reigning Big Ten player of the year for most of the game, and the trendy pick to beat Duke, Texas A&M, went down to Purdue without Hummel. Not to mention the Evan Turner’s are still going. Maybe that Big Ten was pretty good. Iowa got screwed. Should have been a 8 or 9 seed.

How awesome would it be for Calapari’s team of thugs led by Cousins were taken out of the tournament by Cornell? After that we could have a trivia challenge between the teams or something for amusement.

It’s about time the mid-majors get some higher seeds isn’t it? UNI, Cornell, Saint Mary’s, Murray State and BYU were all underrated. Not to mention New Mexico and BYU won a game from the MWC. Always liked New Mexico cause of Mel Daniels and Danny Granger, but Alford losing to an #11 seed is pretty sweet. Sorry Stevie.

Hey guys, this is big time college basketball. Learn how to break a fucking zone press!
I feel like not enough mention has been made about great coaching jobs in this tournament. Bruce Pearl and Matt Painter should win awards. Although Pearl lucked out by Georgetown getting beat, he has overcome some real adversity to get to his third sweet sixteen in four years. Wonder what Tyler Smith is up to.

What if Des Moines ever got a regional 1st and 2nd round, would you want to go? I worry it will be dud games and I would miss potential great games on TV. If I sat through a Kansas-Winthrop game and missed someone like Ohio knock off someone like Georgetown I would not be happy.

Sometimes it is nice to admit defeat in the bracket so you can just cheer for the teams you want to win. Let’s go Evan Turners!

I’m really looking forward to this sweet sixteen and elite eight, except that my four favorite teams are all in the same regional. Why can’t UNI, Michigan St., Ohio St. and Tennessee be the final four? Whoever comes out of that region will be who I will be pulling for come Final Four weekend.

After watching Ohio State the last few games I am getting really pissed that the Pacers have won two games in a row. Figure it out Pacers.

Day 2 of 2010 NCAA Tourament

Question: Should I cheer against Tennessee even though I like them so the fans will turn on Bruce Pearl and he can come to Iowa? I mean, they are not going to win any title this season, I say Pearl bows out early then purchases a gold blazer.

On Bill Simmons’ live chat the last two days and in his most recent mailbag he has been discussing the Barbasol commercial that we all know and love. Here in Big Ten Country, we were getting a close shave months ago thanks to the Big Ten Network. We’re ahead of the unintentional comedy curve Iowa! Close shave America, Close shave Barbasollll!

Purdue has a 15 point lead with under 7 minutes, Siena goes on a 12-0 run to cut it to 3 with a minute left. How does this happen? Lewis Jackson, who is 2 for 7 from the line on the year, ON THE YEAR!! Just missed the front end of a 1-and-1, so Matt Painter still has him in the game. Get him on the fucking bench and bring in a guard who can shoot free throws. You are a Big Ten school. You should have backup guards who can break a press and make free throws. Isn’t there the token shooter on the bench who will be automatic for at least 1 out of 2?

I’m glad Purdue won without Hummel. Shut some people up.

As long as it isn’t Illinois I’m usually all for Big Ten teams in the tournament, (I just can’t stand Bruce Weber and his whiney little bitch demeanor), so I was rooting for Michigan State tonight, but MAN what a stupid call on that lane violation. Didn’t know Tim Donaguhay refereed college ball.

Did some Google research, that slug looking thing on Houston’s Aubrey Coleman’s neck is a raised scar. He had a family history of abscesses and had to have surgery. Now, he is the nation’s leading scorer. If he blows up in the pros, how many kids will want raised scars?

Shout out to the Iowa wrestling team. Three years and running. Will Brands rest until he has 10 national champions in all 10 weight classes I think not. Anyway, congratulations Hawks. I love my Hawkeye Wrestling.

Speaking of the wrestling national championships, who’s idea was it for ESPNU to interview the wrestlers seconds after the match. How would these out of shape sideline reporters like it if after running the 9:30 mile at the Y, someone stuck a microphone in their mug when they felt like throwing up. I am waiting for a wrestler to actually throw up on the mic. It will make me happy.

Today on Sportscenter they said something about “Well, Gottlieb said…”. I say: Who the fuck cares what Gottlieb said. He is wrong more often than he is right and even more often than that he doesn’t commit to anything so he round aboutly picks both teams.

Tournament games are more enjoyable with Easter candy. They are less enjoyable when sharing a recliner with my dog when he has bad gas.

Day 1 of the NCAA Tournament

Thoughts on first day:

Scottie Reynolds almost played in two of the biggest upsets in tournament history – If Bobby Morris would have won today, and the 1985 Nova-Georgetown game. He’s been around a while.
I’m instantly regretting picking Big East teams. Last year it was money. This year...not so much.

Ali Farokhmanesh of UNI hits a 3 with seconds left to beat UNLV. Had five 3’s. Know where he is from? IOWA FUCKING CITY, IOWA. You’re kidding me Hawks. He is no Dean Oliver, but he is better than Cully Payne. Then again, we could recruit at the Special Olympics and find a better point guard than Cully Payne.

New Rule: If a team is made up of mostly black athletic guys, and won 30 regular season games and have a potentially possible upset draw in the first round…TAKE THEM. Thanks Murray State.

Potential Iowa coaching candidates who coached today: Ben Jacobson – had a white-out going for some of the game...Not what the Hawks need. Kevin Stallings – Lost as a 4 seed to the 13 seed for the second time in three years. Tony Barbee – His team, UTEP, came out and looked like that all just Cleveland Steamer’d each other during halftime and had nothing left in the tank. Good candidates. Got your work cut out for you Barta.

The tournament setup hasn’t changed for years, yet CBS still blows at getting the most relevant, exciting game to the audience. I blame Greg Anthony and Seth Davis. Just because I want to.
How many guys named Robert Morris are getting smartass condolences from their friends tonight for almost beating Villanova?

Late in the Marquette game Lazar Hayward grabbed an important rebound, then stood there with his hands wrapped around it and let himself get tied up. They had the possession arrow so it wasn’t harmful to Marquette, but did someone tell him this wasn’t the Elks Club 6th grade tournament and back court pressing IS allowed?

Maybe I’m getting old, but are the scores on the top of the screen getting smaller? I think CBS is in cahoots with the guy who invented Lasik surgery and is trying to convince all viewers over 19 years of age to consider the procedure.

Think Georgetown ever held an employee and family picnic that held family games? I bet they did. I also bet John Thompson and JT3 were seeded 1, then the 16 seed, the Dean and his four year old granddaughter, upset them. They have a knack for pissing sure wins down their legs.

If you pick a team to get to the sweet sixteen, then they lose, should you root against the team you picked them to play in the 2nd round if some people picked that team to get to the sweet sixteen? For example, I picked Marquette and New Mexico, with Marquette beating New Mexico. Some people in my pool picked New Mexico to get to the Sweet Sixteen. Should I cheer against New Mexico in the first round to make is impossible for them to win in the 2nd round even if I would get the first round points for their win? Got all that?

I think in honor of his return to the NCAA tournament, Steve Alford should have to wear that light blue tank top he was sporting in Winning Time the other night.

CBS should not be allowed to put a 5-12 game during that 4:30 time slot when everybody but the West Coast gets their local news. Tomorrow the Texas A&M / Utah St. game is during that time slot, and that’s just Bush League.

Who has an eight point lead in overtime and loses?!?! 2010 Texas, that’s who.

Final Four

Final Four
(1) Kansas vs. (1) Syracuse – I like Boeheim better than Bill Self, but I feel like Syracuse is more prone to play a bad game than Kansas. Consistency has not been much of a problem for Kansas this year since they only lost the two games to Tennessee and Oklahoma State. I’m feeling Aldrich and Collins to pull through for Kansas in this one. Also, I think Xavier Henry will have a big game to raise his stock on the draft board. Pick: Kansas
(1) Kentucky vs. (1) Duke – I understand that I am boring for picking all #1’s, but that’s just how it turned out. If this game happens it will pit two hated teams and fan bases against each other. I feel like Duke would be underdogs and Kentucky would be more liked by the public, but this shouldn’t be so. For one, both teams played UCONN this year. Duke killed the Huskies while Kentucky could have lost that game. Also, why would you root for that sleaze ball Coach Cal and his group of thugs led by DeMarcus Cousins instead of Coach K and his hard working team led by Scheyer. Schools put on probation: Cal -2 Coach K – 0. However, I’m thinking Kentucky wins this one because of athleticism at the guard position. Damn you, Ashley Judd. Pick: Kentucky

Championship Game
(1) Kansas vs. (1) Kentucky – five wins is enough for Kentucky. The time has come for Kansas to shut up the kids from Kentucky. I’m picking Kansas and that’s that. I do have a big problem with this game though. Do I care enough about this game to miss Monday Night Raw at the I Wireless Center? I don’t know. Depends if Bret Hart is there I suppose. Pick: Kansas 2010 National Champion

South Region

This was the hardest region to pick because I didn't like any of the teams to make the Final Four. Couldnt Villanova or Baylor swap with Georgetown or Ohio State. Fucking selection committee.

( 1) Duke vs. (16) Arkansas Pine-Bluff – Everybody is picking against Duke this year. Let’s hope that doesn’t mean in this game. Pick: Duke

(8) California vs. (9) Louisville –

Our second Pac-10 team in the tournament and I’m not a big fan. Pitno’s bunch should be able to knock off Cal. That Big East schedule is much harder than playing Oregon, Oregon State and Washington State twice each. Pick: Louisville

(5) Texas A&M vs. (12) Utah St. –

I haven’t seen Texas A&M play much this year. They are probably the team seeded five and lower that I have seen the least of. I still like A&M to knock off Utah State even though it should be a close game. Pick: Texas A&M

(4) Purdue vs. (13) Siena –

I’m actually going to go with the “upset” in this one by picking Purdue. Even Hummel-less, I think the Boilers can pull off a win or two because people forget they did some damage last year during the year when Hummel was hurt. Plus, Siena may be too hot of upset pick to go with. I’ve seen far less brackets picking Purdue to win this one. Pick: Purdue

(6) Notre Dame vs. (11) Old Dominion –

Both teams here are sexy picks. Although don’t tell that to Notre Dame because “Sexy” is not in the vocabulary there. I think this is another popular upset pick that will be spoiled by Notre Dame who is just playing too good right now. Pick: Notre Dame

(3) Baylor vs. (14) Sam Houston St. –

Baylor is the team that seems to have gotten better every day since the brackets were announced. Every “expert” loves Baylor. Why the fuck were they not on TV ever this year if they are so good and exciting to watch? I saw Baylor play two games, both against Texas, but they did look good. Pick: Baylor

(7) Richmond vs. (10)Saint Mary’s

– I like both of these teams, although I’ve only seen Saint Mary’s play once, and that was their dismantling of Gonzaga in the WCC Championship game. I could only watch the second half of that game half-assed because of John Cena running the gauntlet on Monday Night Raw, so I’m going with the Spiders. Pick: Richmond

(2) Villanova vs. (15) Robert Morris

– I feel bad for Robert Morris. I understand Villanova has been struggling as of late, but still, they are too good for one guy named Robert to beat on his own. Pick: Villanova

Second Round
(1) Duke vs. (9) Louisville – Scary game for the Dukies. Louisville has the talent to beat them, but if Scheyer and Singler shoot half decent they should pull this out and move onto the second weekend, which seems strange for a Duke team as of late. Pick: Duke

(5) Texas A&M vs. (4) Purdue

– I really wanted to pick Purdue in this one, but A&M isn’t Siena. They are a battle tested Big 12 team that I think can exploit the loss of Hummel and send Matt Painter and crew packing. Pick: Texas A&M

(6) Notre Dame vs. (3) Baylor – This game caught my eye right away and I went with Notre Dame in the upset. Then I listened to the experts jump on the Baylor bandwagon. I got scared and went away from the Irish. If Baylor blows this one I’m coming for you Gottlieb. I don’t even know if Gottlieb pick Baylor, I would just enjoy punching him. Pick: Baylor

(7) Richmond vs. (2) Villanova – Richmond is a trendy pick to get by the Wildcats, but Scottie Reynolds isn’t on the Taj Gibson “I have secretly been in school for 8 years” plan for nothing. Pick: Villanova

Sweet Sixteen

(1) Duke vs. (5) Texas A&M – This is where most people see Duke slipping up. Duke looked great in the ACC tournament. Granted, the ACC blows this year, but I think they have enough to beat the Aggies. Pick: Duke

(3) Baylor vs. (2) Villanova - Really hard game to pick. I went back and forth with this one. Villanova is sort of slumping. Baylor is playing hot basketball and has the experts on their side. I decided to with Baylor because for once I want to go against my instincts. Villanova has not covered a lot of spreads for the last few years but I always pick them. For once I’m going against them. This means everybody else should pick Villanova. Pick: Baylor

Elite Eight
(1) Duke vs. (3) Baylor – If I would have picked Villanova to beat Baylor, I would have ridden them to the Final Four. However, since I picked Baylor, I think Duke will be slapping the floor all the way to Indy. Pick: Duke

Let me preface this region with the disclaimer than Kentucky has overtaken Illinois this year as my most hated team in the country. It has most to do with Coach Cal, and with the fact Bruce Weber cant even get his team in the tournmant.

(1) Kentucky vs. (16) East Tennessee St. – I hate Kentucky, but they are good. I hope they lose in the first round, but it will not happen. Damn you Calipari. Pick: Kentucky

(8) Texas vs. (9) Wake Forest

– Lot of talent, lot of underachieving. Both coaches are unreliable. I’m going with Texas based on pure talent. Pick: Texas

(5) Temple vs. (12) Cornell –

Everybody is jumping on this Ivy league bandwagon, but Temple has been real tough lately. I’ve bet on them at least five times and they covered the spread every time. Plus, I feel these high seeds who are pegged as upset-prone have a chip on their shoulder. Pick: Temple

(4)Wisconsin vs. (13) Wofford –

Wisconsin did not look good in the Big Ten Tournament against Illinois, but they have too many shooters with Bohannon, Hughes and Leuer. Give me the Badgers. Pick: Wisconsin

(6) Marquette vs. (11) Washington – Washington is an underachieving team. Marquette is an overachieving team. That presents for an upset possibility. However, I love Marquette’s uniforms and their best player is named Lazar, so give me Marquette. Pick: Marquette

(3) New Mexico vs. (14) Montana –

Montana should be watching tapes of Northwestern State versus Iowa in 2006. It sent the Iowa program into a tailspin, and made Alford public enemy number 1 in Iowa (until Todd Lickleiter came along) Alford teams have talent but are not coached well. More on this later. Pick: New Mexico

(7)Clemson vs. (10) Missouri –

Another game where I don’t want to pick either team, but we learned last year that Missouri’s style causes problems to teams that haven’t seen them before. I also can not pick Clemson. Pick: Missouri

(2) West Virginia vs. (15) Morgan St. –

As long as De’Sean Butler doesn’t break his leg like Kenyon Martin did for Bob Huggins, this should be a blowout. Pick: West Virginia

Second Round
(1) Kentucky vs. (8) Texas – This is a scary game for Kentucky. Texas has the talent to keep up with them which was evidenced by their #1 ranking earlier in the year. But I still think Kentucky has too much firepower. Damn you DeMarcus Cousins Pick: Kentucky

(5) Temple vs. (4) Wisconsin –

This is perhaps the hardest game I had to pick in the whole tournament. I hate going against Temple because they have been hot, but they are due for a loss. Plus, Bo Ryan is just such a good coach and Wisconsin commits less turnovers than any team in the country. Pick: Wisconsin

(6) Marquette vs. (3) New Mexico –

Steve Alford teams can never get the ball inbounds, struggle to run an offense, and tend to fall into scoring lulls. I like Marquette to outplay them and outsmart them. Pick: Marquette

(10) Missouri vs. (2) West Virginia –

It is time for West Virginia to beat up on the winner of the “stumbling into the tournament game” between Missouri and Clemson. Pick: West Virginia

Sweet Sixteen
(1) Kentucky vs. (4) Wisconsin -

This could go either way. Bo Ryan is a much better in game coach than Coach Cal, but Kentucky is so much more athletic than Wisconsin. I hate to do it, but Kentucky moves on. Damn you Eric Bledsoe Pick: Kentucky

(6) Marquette vs. (2) West Virginia

– This is a fun game t pick because these teams have played once this year in conference, and West Virginia won by one at West Virginia. I think West Virginia has gotten better since then and will pull this out. Pick: West Virginia

Elite Eight
(1) Kentucky vs. (2) West Virginia - This will be a fantastic game, but can West Virginia’s guards contain both Wall and Bledsoe while keeping an eye on Cousins and Patterson? Doubtful. Damn you John Wall. Pick: Kentucky

West Region

Picked a #1 seed in the Midwest region, might continue that trend here in the West who has a lot of teams I'm not sold on. Second worst region behind the South.

First Round
(1) Syracuse vs. (16) Vermont – I vividly remember picking the upset in 2006 or 2007 when Tom Brennan’s Vermont team knocked off Syracuse. Not gunna call that upset this year. Pick: Syracuse

(8) Gonzaga vs. (9) Florida St. –

This is a tricky game because I’m not very impressed with either team. Florida State pissed me off last year when I was on the Toney Douglas bandwagon and they crapped out early. Also, I felt the ACC was weak this year, so I’m going with the Zags. May the ghost of Adam Morrison be with you. Pick: Gonzaga

(5) Butler vs. (12) UTEP

– This will be a popular upset pick but I’m going with Butler because of the awfulness of Conference USA. Granted, the Summit isn’t any better, but I’m going with Butler for reasons to be disclosed later. Pick: Butler

(4) Vanderbilt vs. (13) Murray St. –

This is the reason I picked Butler: I’m going with Murray State. They had 30 wins this year and I can’t get past that. Plus, I always feel like Vandy is capable of being upset. The day Vandy is a #1 seed, is the day I pick a 16. With that being said, they could make a tourney run and make me look real stupid. Pick: Murray State

(6) Xavier vs. (11) Minnesota

– I haven’t seen much of Xavier this year and I don’t even know who their coach is anymore. The good news for the Musketeers is that even if Minnesota upsets them, they still did better than Sean Miller’s Arizona team. I liked Minnesota toward the end of the season which included a Big Ten Tournament run with wins over Michigan State and a Hummel-less Purdue team and a win at Illinois. Tubby is my pick. Pick: Minnesota

(3) Pittsburgh vs. (14) Oakland –

Oakland could pull this one off because Pitt really isn’t as good as their record shows. With that being said, I am not picking Oakland. Pick: Pitt

(7) BYU vs. (10) Florida –

BYU is an under-seeded team and Jimmer Ferdette can score with anybody in the country. Florida shouldn’t even be in the tournament, let alone a 10 seed. I feel like Florida could out-athletic BYU, but I’m not seeing it. BYU always seems to be in an 8-9 or 7-10 game and seems to always win a close one. Pick: BYU

(2) Kansas St. vs. (15) North Texas

– Frank Martin reminds me of the silent guy in Gone In 60 Seconds. I am afraid him. Pick: Kansas State

Second Round
(1) Syracuse vs. (8) Gonzaga –

The Zags have not impressed this year and Syracuse has. Even with Onuaku’s injury, they should be too much for the Zags. Pick: Syracuse

(5) Butler vs. (13) Murray State

– I picked Butler in the first round because I was too scared of having a 12 vs. 13 matchup. I think Butler continues the winning streak and takes on the Orange. Pick: Butler

(11) Minnesota vs. (3) Pittsburgh –

I said earlier that Pitt isn’t as good as their record indicated. I believe that, but I also believe that Minnesota only has one win in them. Also, I like Jamie Dixon in tournament games to out coach most coaches. Pick: Pitt

(7) BYU vs. (2) Kansas St. – I really wanted to pick BYU here because their 3-pt shooting scares me, but Kansas State’s backcourt is real good and should be able to contain them enough to win. Pick: Kansas State

Sweet Sixteen
(1) Syracuse vs. (5) Butler – I wonder if the ‘Cuse will be full strength by this game. I think they will, and I think they will be head and shoulders athletically better than Butler. Plus, Butler gave us Todd Lickleiter for three years at Iowa so I’m bitter toward them. Pick: Syracuse

(3) Pittsburgh vs. (2) Kansas State – I’m not huge on either of these teams to go to the elite eight. The 2-3 matchup between Georgetown and Ohio State features way more talent, but this could be a better game because the teams seem pretty evenly matched. I think the talent in the backcourt wins out. Pick: Kansas State

Elite Eight
(1) Syracuse vs. (2) Kansas State – Boeheim should be in prime form by this round, having his players ready. Wesley Johnson and Andy Rautins lead the Orange back to Indianapolis where I think their old buddy Eric Devendorf is being jailed currently. (That’s not true..as far as I know) Pick: Syracuse

Midwest Region

All my brackets are going to be posted on here along with my picks. I hope to get a perfect bracket and use this blog to get me a job at either ESPN or playboy.com.

First Round

(1) Kansas vs. (16) Lehigh – I would take Kansas this game even if their starting five all got anthrax poisoning. Pick: Kansas
(8) UNLV vs. (9) UNI – This is an interesting game because UNLV is so athletic and UNI is so grind-it-out systematic. I think UNI was under-seeded, and even though I feel like UNLV might out-quick them, I’m going with the Panthers to slow them down. Pick: UNI
(5) Michigan St vs. (12) New Mexico St. – I like the trendy New Mexico St. pick, but Izzo is too good to let his team continue to falter like they have lately. Kalin Lucas will have to come alive, and I think he will, unlike Cory Haim (too soon?). Pick: Michigan St.
(4) Maryland vs. (13) Houston – I wanted to pick Houston due to their 6 on 5 advantage if you include the thing on Coleman’s neck, plus I like the way Coleman scores the ball, but I have to take Gary Williams because he will out-sweat Tom Penders. Pick: Maryland
(6) Tennessee vs. (11) San Diego St. – Another trendy upset pick, Tennessee has stumbled of late, but I like Bruce Pearl and his style of play too much to pick against him. Although, if they lose, he can buy his gold blazer sooner and begin his reign as Iowa Basketball coach! Pick - Tennessee
(3) Georgetown vs. (14) Ohio – Not a fan of JT3, or JT jr. for that matter, but Georgetown is playing real well, and Freeman has thrived since his diabetes diagnosis. I’m going to keep a pitch count of how many times the announcers say “diabetes” during this game. I’m guessing over 40. Pick: Georgetown
(7) Oklahoma St. vs. (10) Georgia Tech – I hate picking this game. James Anderson is a stud. Derrick Favors is a stud. Oklahoma State looked great beating Kansas. Georgia Tech looked great beating Duke. I’m going with Georgia Tech because I think Favors will have a big game before he makes the jump to the League. Pick: Georgia Tech
(2) Ohio St. vs. (15) UC Santa Barbara – My girlfriend picked Ohio State to win it all. I think this is because I talk about Evan Turner a lot..in the bedroom..and in my sleep. Pick: Ohio State

Second Round:
(1) Kansas vs. (9) UNI – I hate this matchup for Kansas because of UNI’s style of play. But this is the same UNI team I saw get beat by Bradley, and Kansas has more scoring options than any team UNI has seen all year. Too much for the Panthers. Pick: Kansas
(5) Michigan State vs. (4) Maryland – Maryland is playing better and Michigan State is a mess. I get that. But Izzo pulls more stuff out of his ass in March than Lance Bass. I’m going with a minor upset here. Pick: Michigan State
(6) Tennessee vs. (3) Georgetown – I really wanted to pick the Volunteers in this one, but Georgetown looked real good in the Big East Tournament. We have learned in the last few years the previous game means nothing when judging Georgetown, but I bitched out and took the Hoyas. Pick: Georgetown
(10) Georgia Tech vs. (2) Ohio State – I like Ohio State’s balance and guard play way too much to pick Georgia Tech. Turner, Diebler and Lighty should eat up Georgia Tech’s guards. As long as Lauderdale stays out of foul trouble, the Buckeyes should win. Pick: Ohio State

Sweet Sixteen
(1) Kansas vs. (5) Michigan State – Michigan State has the talent and guard play to challenge Kansas, but I think Self will have his players ready for Lucas and co. and will take the game and move on. Pick: Kansas
(3) Georgetown vs. (2) Ohio State – Really tough game to pick. I think Monroe will have a big game against OSU, but I’m riding this Evan Turner train into the Elite Eight and sticking with Norman Dale, I mean Thad Matta’s Bucks. Pick: Ohio State

Elite Eight
(1) Kansas vs. (2) Ohio State – I think this might be one of the most intriguing possible matchups in the country. Kansas is deeped than OSU, but OSU’s starting five poses matchup problems. There is also about four potential lottery picks in this matchup. As much as I love Evan Turner (and want the Pacers to lose out and attempt to get Turner) I have to stick with Kansas to move on to Indianapolis. Let’s hope Evan Turner plays his games in Indy in about seven months instead of three weeks. Pick: Kansas