Oh, Hello Last Place.

It would be far too difficult and boring to do an entire NCAA basketball preview. Plus, I would be lying if I pretended to know anything about some of those teams from the Pac 10 or the SEC. Instead I will do my best to preview the Big 10, culminating with my Iowa Hawkeyes and my predictions for the final Big 10 standings.

Illinois Fighting Illini –

Illinois has a ton of talent this year. Doug Gotlieb, who I think would be better suited as a fraternity president than a college basketball analyst, said he thinks the Illini will be one of the top teams in the nation this year. I tend to disagree that they will be a "top"team nationally (although he didn’t specify how elite he thought they were) but they are certainly a Big 10 title contender, and a real threat in the NCAA tournament. The Illini return all five starters from a team last year that went 18-15 and made the quarterfinals of the NIT. Their record wasn’t telling of how good they were. A late season collapse landed them on the bubble, and ultimately in the NIT. I will be the first one to tell you the Illini deserved a spot in the NCAA tournament last year, and I HATE Illinois, but the tournament committee saw it a different way.

The most important returning starter for the Illini is Demetri McCamey. He is a real stud. He reminds me a lot of Deron Williams by the way he is overlooked by the national media, but continues to lead the team, and dish out assists. He is, however, much weirder looking than Williams. Mike Davis and Mike Tisdale inside could be a tough duo. Both are seniors and both are really tall. I think the wild card this year for the Illini will be sophomore D. J. Richardson. I really liked him last year and felt he was overlooked.

The downfall of the Illini will be the loss of Marcus Jordan. His 1.2 points a game, or whatever it was, could cost them some real barn burners. Coaching certainly is not a problem. Bruce Weber has proven he can win with his own players. Never mind, I guess he has only won with Bill Self’s players. Oh well, scratch that. He has proven he can land the big recruits, like his high school coach brother’s star player Jon Scheyer. Dang, guess he didn’t close that deal either. Well at least us Quad Citians won’t have to look far next year to watch Rock Island star Chasson Randle and he continues his basketball career at Illinois. Ah…Stanford. Gotcha. Well I guess coaching is a problem. Bruce Pearl makes the orange jacket look cool, Weber makes it look like a used car salesman outfit. His recruiting class for next year looks solid, but his coaching at Illinois has been very sub-par.

The Illini will overcome the coaching and make the tournament this year. It will be hard not to with an elite point guard like McCamey. They should be an exciting team to watch on ESPN and the Big Ten Network all year. Let’s just hope most of them are away games so we don’t have to watch them play at Assembly Hall, otherwise known as the worst college basketball arena in the country to watch a game on TV.

Reasons to watch the Illini in 2010:

Weber’s awful orange jacket

McCamey’s passing

Five returning starters

A team to consistently root against

Indiana Hoosiers –

Year three of Tom Creen. Things have to turn around a little bit this year don’t they? The Hoosiers were bad last year, as most of us expected them to be, but not THAT bad. There is a lot of pressure on Creen this year. The only names I recognize on this roster are Tom Pritchard (not Dr. Tom, the former WWE not-so-superstar) and Christian Watford. I vividly remember last year’s Indiana team being worked over pretty good in Carver Hawkeye Arena last year, which is a bad sign.

The Hoosiers will have to finish at least 9^th for Creen to avoid talk of being on the “hot seat”. The proud tradition-loving fans of Indiana basketball are a tough bunch to please. Just ask Mike Davis. If Creen doesn’t put out a team that shows marked improvement, we may be hearing calls for the General to roam the sidelines again.

Reasons to watch the Hoosiers in 2010:

Ollie's underhand freethrows

Jimmy Chitwood

Coach Norman Dale…or wait THE Hoosiers? Not the movie “Hoosiers”?...Then..none.

Michigan Wolverines –

I really felt last year was the year Michigan would be a Big 10 Title contender again. With Harris and Sims leading the charge, I envisioned a Michigan team with an inside and outside threat that could beat any team in the conference. They were just that. The problem, as evidenced by the Evan Turner half-court shot in the Big 10 Tournament is that they were a team that COULD beat anybody, they just usually didn’t.

The Wolverines lost Harris and Sims and don’t return a whole heck of a lot. They have no seniors on the whole roster, and the best returning players are Stu Douglass and Steve Novak. DOUGLASS AND NOVAK! They do have some star power in the form of freshman Tim Hardaway Jr. Don’t know if he is any good, but I imagine he has a killer crossover, and is a heterosexual. Maybe there is hope for the Hawkeyes and Hoosiers to avoid the cellar with a lineup like that.

John Beilein has some pressure on him this year to perform. I have a feeling he and his buddy Rich Rod wish they were still singing John Denver with the rest of West Virginia. Even if it isn’t West Virginia, these two old Mountaineers may be together at some DII school next year if they don’t clean up Michigan athletics.

Reasons to watch Michigan in 2010:

Steve Novak taking the reins of the team!

Beilein’s possible last year at Michigan

The inevitable shot of a pissed off Tim Hardaway in the stands.

Michigan State Spartans –

Here is my (and most other people’s) pick to win the Big 10. I think Michigan State wins the Big 10 title and finishes as a #1 or #2 seed in the tournament for a couple reasons. 1) Big game experience. The final four last year, especially without leader Kalin Lucas, forced some of these Spartans to grow up fast. Korie Lucious and Delvon Roe really stepped their games up, and I expect that to continue. 2) Kalin Lucas is back. I am a huge Lucas fan. I don’t know how good of an NBA prospect he is, but he is a fantastic college leader. Think Mateen Cleves, but not as annoying. 3) The best in-game coach in college basketball: Tom Izzo.

The Spartans will take some losses this year since the Big 10 is so deep, but I fully expect this veteran team to really bring it this year. They have five studs starting, and a solid bench, which is rare to come by in this day and age. Anything less than a Big 10 title and a Final Four appearance will be a disappointment for these guys.

Reasons to watch Michigan State in 2010-2011:

A good, senior and junior-led team in college basketball. Rare these days.

Kalin Lucas’s last hurrah at MSU.

Korie Lucious hitting big shots.

Delvon Roe and Draymond Green getting to the rim.

Izzo’s hilarious faces.

Minnesota Golden Gophers –

Some people are really high on Minnesota this year after their Big 10 Title game run last season and their NCAA tournament win. I think they will be a team in the top half of the Big 10, and a tournament team again in 2011, but I’m not drinking the kool-aid yet.

Lawrence Westbrook is gone. Somehow, Blake Hoffarber is still there. So is Al Nolen. Hoffarber is on the Jess Settles plan at Minnesota apparently. Those two seniors will have to lead the backcourt and pick up the scoring left by Westbrook. The inside game for Minnesota should be solid. Ralph Sampson III returns for another year, and reportedly put on some beef in the weight room, and is up to 115 lbs this season. Actually, he is listed at 241, but he always looks so skinny and fragile that it is deceiving. Colton Iverson is also back to clog up the middle with Sampson. Speaking of beef, the Gophers got a freshman this year named Mo Walker who is listed at 6-10 289. That’s a big boy.

I think this team with be really solid defensively. They should be tough to score on inside with all of their big bodies, but I just don’t know where all of their scoring is going to come from. Hoffarber and Joseph both averaged right around 10 points last year, but most of the defensive attention was paid to Westbrook. It will be interesting to see what Tubby does to score points.

Reasons to watch Minnesota in 2010-2011:

To see if Mo Walker eats anybody.

Saul Smith and his “coaching”

Blake Hoffarber’s niche for last second shots.

Northwestern Wildcats –

Is it finally the year the Wildcats make the Dance? I am going to say it does not happen. I actually really like the grittiness of Bill Carmody coached teams, but I think it will be really tough for Northwestern to get many wins in Big 10 play. I will say, however, that if Northwestern was in any other conference in America I think they would have a good enough conference resume to make the tournament, just not the Big 10 this year.

Last year a big deal was made about the Wildcats losing Kevin Kobel. It turns out, he isn’t playing this year either, only this year it is by choice. He wants to focus on graduating. Why is this not a bigger story? Kobel had a chance to be All-Big 10 last season, and now he decides not to play on the year Northwestern has a chance to do something they have never done and I don’t hear about it until mid-November?!? Strange story.

Even without Kobel, the Wildcats will be tough this year. Much like their football team, the system they run always gives them the chance for an upset. It is nothing more than a Princeton offense, but it still works. Drew Crawford and Michael Thompson form a scrappy backcourt and John Shurna proved last year he could fill it up, while still looking like an un-athletic 12 year old. The Wildcats may not make the Dance this year, but they will be fun to watch.

Reasons to watch Northwestern in 2010-2011

Shurna’s shooting ability

The backdoor cuts

Luka Mirkovic’s usually hilarious haircut

Ohio State Buckeyes –

I hate Ohio State athletics. Excuse me, I hate THE Ohio State athletics…except basketball. For some reason, and I don’t exactly know why, but I find myself rooting for Thad Matta coached Ohio State teams. I had a huge man crush on Evan Turner last year. Three years ago I was a little smitten for Mike Conely Jr. Jon Diebler is still a douche, but he can shoot. It must be that Matta looks so much like Coach Norman Dale from Hoosiers, and who doesn’t love Hickory right?

The 2010-2011 version of Ohio State basketball will be a force once again. Everybody is focused on their star-studded recruiting class, and rightfully so, they will be great with man-child Jared Sullinger and J.D. Weatherspoon leading the way, but lots of people are looking past what this team returns from last year. Diebler will be back to stroke the three-ball. Dallas Lauderdale is back and still looking older than Greg Oden. (What if Oden had stayed in school for some reason, be it injuries or whatever, he and Lauderdale would no doubt be the oldest looking frontcourt in basketball history, I’m even including the NBA). William Buford is back and so is David Lighty. Keep in mind, there were times last year when Lighty took over games that Evan Turner was struggling in. I’d be very surprised if Ohio State doesn’t get a one or two seed in the NCAA Torunament.

Reasons to watch Ohio State in 2010-2011:

Sullinger. The second most touted freshman behind Harrison Barnes.

Lighty, Buford and Diebler. Perhaps the best backcourt in the nation. Yeah, I said it.

Lauderdale and Sullinger clogging the lane.

The rest of the freshman class.

Penn State Nittany Lions –

Talor Battle is really good. Andrew Jones is not too shabby. That’s about it for Penn State as far as I can tell. I really don’t know much about their freshman class, except that they are all from Pennsylvania or surrounding states. I do think some teams with poor guard play (Iowa) will have trouble with Penn State mainly because of Battle’s quickness. One thing can be sure, Ed DeChellis coached teams always play hard and will probably win a game or two they shouldn’t, but they won’t win much more than that.

Reasons to watch Penn State in 2010-2011 -

Talor Battle. That’s it.

Purdue Boilermakers –

Losing Robbie Hummel hurts. A lot. He is to Purdue what Kyle Singler is to Duke. Don’t get me wrong, this is still a very good team and has a chance to win a Big 10 title, but I considered them National Title contenders before the Hummel injury.

We saw last year in the Dance that they can compete without Hummel, but don’t forget that they still had emotional leader Chris Kramer. Even so, with E’Twaun Moore and JaJuan Johnson they will be a force to be reckoned with. Matt Painter is a very good coach and will have this team ready to be Hummelless. I look for Lewis Jackson to be a sleeper this year. He is a pretty good guard who often is overlooked because of Hummel, Moore and Johnson. Should be a fun team to watch and cheer for, because it is about impossible to not feel bad for Hummel…even if that “Boiler Up” chant is the stupidest and most annoying fucking thing since Thundersticks.

Reasons to watch Purdue in 2010-2011 –

JaJuan dominating most centers in the nation.

The emergence of Lewis Jackson.

The off chance Matt Painter starts to lose his hair and perfects the Gene Keady comb-over.

Wisconsin Badgers –

Can Bo Ryan finally get the respect he deserves? Every year we think Wisconsin will be down and every year, with a bunch of nobodies, Ryan has them in the top half of the conference and into the second or third round of the NCAA Tournament. Jon Leuer and Jordan Taylor are the only players on this team anybody has ever heard of. Leuer is really good. He plays a little bit like Kevin Love. He is not that good, but he is a crafty white guy who can beat you inside and outside. The defense will be there for Wisconsin, as always. The shooting will probably be there too, even with the loss of Jason Bohannon. The Badgers stole another player from the Hawkeyes in freshman guard Ben Brust, who is supposed to be a very solid wing player. Don’t look now, but I’d bet by the end of February the Badgers are booking a trip to the NCAA Tournament once again.

Reasons to watch Wisconsin in 2010-2011 –

Jon Leuer’s craftyness.

Ben Brust and his inevitable ride to stardom now that he isn’t a Hawk

Finally…

Iowa Hawkeyes –

Where to begin with this team. I know this is not new coach Fran McCafferty’s fault, but let’s list the players we have lost over the last four years: Tony Freeman, Tyler Smith, Jake Kelley, Jeff Peterson, Anthony Tucker, Adam Fuller, David Palmer, Ben Brust, Jermain Davis, Brennan Cougil and Todd Lickleiter Jr. Don’t get me wrong, seeing Cougil, Lickleiter, and Davis go are not bad things. They were not Big 10 players, although Davis showed signs of potential. Tucker is lighting it up at Winona State, Peterson is getting floor time at Arkansas, Kelley for Indiana State. Freeman and Smith would be graduated by now, but it still stings. And what are we left with? Cully Payne. Shoot me.

This year’s version of the Hawkeyes are not good. I really like what Coach Fran has done and said so far, but he came into a bad situation and it will take a while to turn it around. Do not be fooled by the 111 point output in the exhibition opener, we will struggle to score points. Let’s start with the guards. Cully Payne is still terrible. Even in McCaf’s transition offense he looks slow as molasses. He is a terrible shooter for a Big 10 PG, no matter what he did in last year’s final game against Michigan. Yet, for some reason, people still talk about him like he is Jeff Horner and Dean Oliver rolled into one. I have actually thought Cully has said and done all the right things since last year, and he was starting to grow on me, but then I saw him play again and punched my TV. (Sidenote: Did anybody see the BigTen Network graphic about “Sizzling Sophomores” in the opener Sunday? They said how the Sophomores Payne and May had carried the Hawkeyes. May WAS playing good. Payne’s stats at this point were 2pts, 0reb, 0 steals, 5 assists and 4 turnovers. WHAT?!? Carrying the team where? To the depths of Hell?) Anyway, I will give Payne one bit of credit, it was probably hard to improve much last year with Lickleiter guarding him every day in practice. Transfer point guard Bryce Cartwright may provide some assistance there. I was skeptical of Devyn Marble this year, but he has played quite well so far I thought. He has a lot to learn and a lot of muscle to pack on, but I think he has the athleticism to compete in the Big 10. My favorite player on the 2010-2011 Hawkeyes is Eric May. He is athletic, can create his own shot, which is something we haven’t seen since Jake Kelley left, and he plays solid defense. I am a big May fan.

The forward position will be better this year. Matt Gatens will likely benefit from the transition offense because he had a lot of trouble creating his own shot, and Lord knows the point guards didn’t do him any help last year. Gatens is supposed to be our team leader this year, but it worries me that after watching him for two years I feel he would have only gotten about 10-15 minutes a game on the Hawkeyes teams with Horner and Haluska. We will see if he shows any improvement in year three. Melsahn Basabe and Zach McCabe have looked promising in summer ball and throughout the first couple games, but they are young and obviously inexperienced. I expect a lot of freshman mistakes with them this year, but I think both could be decent Big 10 players.

The Hawks will get killed inside. I am a big Jarryd Cole fan and always have been. People forget, the guy is only listed as 6-7 and has to play center. Cole would be a very good PF. He rebounds well for his size and is very athletic. He is not a center. He is undersized against almost every opponent, but he goes to work and doesn’t complain about it. It is a shame he will have one of the worst careers record-wise in Iowa history probably and likely be forgotten by Iowa fans in a couple years. He is an example of a guy who really has given his all to the Iowa program, (while others were dropping like flies), fighting through injuries, playing out of position and working hard the whole time he was here. You know who Cole’s help inside is? Devin Archie is the junior transfer from Indianapolis who looks like a player, but didn’t get many, if any, minutes in the opener Sunday. Is he good? I really don’t know. If Archie sucks, do you know who Cole’s help is inside? Andrew Brommer. Crap.

Big 10 Standings –

Michigan State - 16-2

Ohio State - 15-3

Illinois - 15-3

Minnesota - 12-6

Purdue - 12-6

Wisconsin - 9-9

Northwestern- 8-10

Indiana - 5-13

Penn State - 4- 14

Iowa - 3-15

Michigan - 3-15

Every Night a Reason to Watch

The World Series is over, The Vikings season is essentially over, and the College Football season is winding down before the long lay-off until the meaningful bowl games start (if there is such a thing as meaningful bowl games, plural). This means it is NBA time. I didn't do an NBA season preview, because it is too easy to just say "it will be either the Lakers vs the Heat or Celtics in the finals". No kidding. Instead I waited a couple weeks, watched some NBA league pass and have come up with a few reasons why to watch each and every NBA team this season.

Atlanta Hawks -
The two Crawfords (Jamal and Jordan) can score in bunches and in different kinds of ways.
Mike Bibby is still starting, until Jeff Teague blossoms at least, and he is still weird looking.
Josh Smith on a break away.
Al Horford is extremely underrated.
Joe Johnson is still underrated, but his paycheck doesn't say so.

Boston Celtics -
The Big 3 are all healthy.
Jermaine O'Neal and Shaq together. Ahh, if it was only 2001.
Perhaps the largest team in NBA history.
Ray Allen's clutch shots. (Still not better than Reggie. No way, no how).
KG might tell someone they have AIDS, Lou Gehrig's Disease or West Nile. Some incurable disease.

Charlotte Bobcats -
Michael Jordan actually showing up to a game (work).
They were 31-10 at home last year. Not too shabby.
The all-bust team: Tyrus Thomas, Gerald Henderson, Shaun Livingston, and the MVP Kwame Brown.
Always the off chance Stephen Jackson punches an opposing player, or teammate, or fan.

Chicago Bulls -
Derrick Rose is a highlight reel in waiting.
Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah are on pace for the ugliest front court of all time. Move over Ilgauskas and Varejao!
Kyle Korver's smooth shot.
One word: Scalabrine.

Cleveland Cavaliers -
Lebro...ohhhh sorry.
The crowd chanting "Boobie" for Daniel Gibson.
J.J. Hickson could have a break out year.
Mo Williams is the best player on the team. Like a car wreck you can't look away from.
When LeBron comes to town. Madness.
Dan Gilbert and his Comic Sans font.

Dallas Mavericks -
Mark Cuban.
Jason Kidd throwing alley-oops to Tyson Chandler.
Dirk is a 7-footer who drives and hits 3's, in case you forgot.
Brian Cardinal and Brendan Haywood. They make a funny couple.

Denver Nuggets -
The impending Carmelo trade.
If Carmelo doesn't get traded, how this team plays together.
Birdman.
A sneaky good front court led by Nene, Al Harrington and Kenyon Martin.
If Chauncey finally defers and acts like a 34 year old point guard.

Detroit Pistons -
Rip Hamilton's constant movement is still entertaining.
Charlie Villanueva's tweets.
Tracy McGrady riding the bench.
The off-chance the fans start a fight with an opposing team and Joe Dumars blame it all on the opposing team. That would never happen though right?

Golden State Warriors -
Their awesome new uniforms.
Stephen Curry is really smart and really good.
Monta Ellis may shot 30 times a game, but he will put up points.
The crowd.

Houston Rockets -
For my money, the most overrated team in the NBA. Hey people still watch the Cowboys, might as well watch the Rockets too. Not saying "bad" but the finals? Really Van Gundy?
Luis Scola is crafty. He also looks like Russell Brand.
Shane Battier's hustle.
YAOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(My) Indiana Pacers -
Roy Hibbert is greatly improving.
Larry Bird's grumpy face.
Hansbrough and Josh McRoberts - The White Hopes.
Rookie Paul George has some serious potential.
Danny Granger is carrying a chip on his shoulder from his lack of play on team USA.
Mike Dunleavy, T.J. Ford and Jim O'Brien and their chances of being assassinated by a disgruntled Pacers fan.
Darren Collison getting a team to lead.
The inevitable strip club incident involving Lance Stephenson and Brandon Rush.

Los Angeles Clippers -
Blake Griffin.
Chris Kaman's hair.
Baron Davis taking shots away from Eric Gordon.
Eric Bledsoe maturing into a real point guard.
Blake Griffin.

Los Angeles Lakers -
Watching the best player in the NBA at this moment - Kobe Bryant.
Seeing is Phil Jackson can add another ring to his resume, which already includes the trophy for "Most Overrated Figure in Sports History" (See earlier article).
Ron Artest interviews.
Pau Gasol's moves around the basket.
Steve Blake trying to claim the starting job from Derek Fisher.

Memphis Grizzlies -
The Gay-Mayo duo.
First round pick Xavier Henry.
Watching Mike Conley, surprisingly the best prospect that came from that OSU NCAA finals team.
To see if Hasheem Thabeet gets literally ripped in half.

Miami Heat -
The star-studded second unit of Eddie House, Juwan Howard, Jerry Stackhouse, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, and Carlos Arroyo!

Milwaukee Bucks -
Brandon Jennings in his 2nd year.
Magette and Gooden co-existing.
Michael Redd, to see if he reappears. Ever.
Andrew Bogut's fan section.

Minnesota Timberwolves -
Michael Beasley in the party mecca that is Minneapolis in the Winter.
The point guard trio of Flynn, Ridnour and Telfair. Way better than Curry and Rubio.
Kevin Love. When he plays.
KAHN!

New Jersey Nets -
The growth of rookie Derrick Favors.
Jay-Z
Brook Lopez has quietly became a very good big man.
Troy Murphy taking his crazy 3's out of Indiana.
The Russian.

New Orleans Hornets -
Did everybody forget how incredibly good Chris Paul is?
How bad the other players look when Chris Paul is off the floor.
Tervor Ariza on another new team.
Chris Paul. Chris Paul. Chris Paul.

New York Knicks -
The reemergence of the Knicks.
The inevitable signing of Carmelo.
To see how Amare plays without Steve Nash.
The chance Eddy Curry blows up from eating too much.
The Garden crowd.

Oklahoma City Thunder -
The youngest, most exciting team in the NBA.
Kevin Durant. One of the most likable superstars ever.
Russell Westbrook's quick pull up.
James Harden's beard.
The OKC crowd.

Orlando Magic -
Is Jameer Nelson really a championship PG?
Dwight Howard's emerging offensive game. Still not great.
J.J. Redick's jump shot.
Vince Carter and Rashard Lewis looking bored.
Stan Van Gundy sweating a lot.

Philadelphia 76ers -
2nd Round pick Evan Turner and his lack of fitting in right now.
Anre Iguodala trade rumors.
Lou Williams scores in bunches.
Doug Collins. Will he last the whole year or be back on TNT by February?

Phoenix Suns -
The modern physical marvel known as Steve Nash.
One of the good guys in the NBA: Grant Hill.
Josh Childress and Hedo Turkoglu returning to the USA.
Good team chemistry.

Portland Trailblazers -
Brandon Roy becoming a leader.
A reenergized Marcus Camby.
LaMarcus Aldridge continuing to fly under the NBA radar.
The Curious Case of Greg Oden's penis.

Sacramento Kings -
Rookie Demarcus Cousins. Next Derrick Coleman or Chris Webber?
The second year of Tyreke Evans.
Pooh Jeter. Don't know who he is, but awesome name.
7-footer from Marshall Hassan Whiteside. Diamond in the rough or bust?

San Antonio Spurs -
A rested Spurs team after an early exit in 2010. Dangerous.
A finally healthy Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker.
Last year: George Hill. This year: ?
Tim Duncan on his (close to) last leg.
The best coach in the NBA.
Eva Longoria.

Toronto Raptors -
The race with Minnesota for the 1st pick.
When Chris Bosh comes to town and likely fakes an injury.
Ed Davis too weak to play in the NBA?
Reggie Evans too dumb to play in the NBA?

Utah Jazz -
Deron Williams is really good. A hair better than over-hyper college teammate Dee Brown.
Rookie Gordon Hayward brings his partying ways to Utah.
Al Jefferson on a good team for the first time in his career.
The second best coach in the NBA.
The old logo is new again.

Washington Wizards -
John Wall's blinding speed.
John Wall's dance.
Gilbert Arenas. He is hilarious, and likely to be traded.
Yi Jianlian is due for a breakout year!
John Wall's chances to lead the league in steals.

MLB Playoff Predictions

I do love October baseball. The Indians have been out of the picture since June. The Dodgers since August. The Cubs since July. I have no team to really root for or against strongly. Yet, I still find myself very excited for the playoffs. There are some players I will certainly be cheering for, and I can hop on a bandwagon for a couple weeks since the Tribe are all sitting at home.

Phillies vs. Reds

Prediction: Phillies in 3.

What I want to happen: I want to see the Reds pull this one off and shove it up the Philly fans ass. The Phillies fans were bitching and moaning back in July when I went to a game there about how bad their team was. Are you kidding me? They are 2 years removed from a World Championship, and the won the pennant last year! They finished with the best record in the NL. Stop bitching Philly. It is getting old. They will probably complain if the Reds win just one game in this series, which wont happen. Travis Wood pitched great against Philly this season, but, Dusty Baker is mentally retarded and does not have him in the rotation. Let's hope Bronson Arroyo can lull the Phillies hitters to sleep with his masterful acoustic songs.


Giants vs. Braves

Prediction: Giants in 4

What I want to happen: I don't really feel sentimental for Bobby Cox in his last year. He had his chances and he won a ring. Braves fans have been spoiled for 20 years. Giants fans are hyped over their first postseason trip in a long time, and they are doing it without Barry Bonds, so touche Giants. While you're at it, just win the whole National League as far as I'm concerned.


Yankees vs. Twins

Prediction: Yankees in 4

What I want to happen: Obviously I want the Twins to win. Without Justin Morneau it will be awful difficult. If Minnesota can win the first two games in Minnesota they have a good shot, and they don't have Joe Nathan to blow any saves this year. I just think Carl Pavano and his stash can not hold down this Yankees lineup. Too much high-paid power.



Rays vs. Rangers

Prediction: Rays in 4

What I want to happen: The Rangers are my favorite team in this postseason, mainly just because of Cliff Lee. I like Josh Hamilton, but I don't care about his relationship with God. I'd rather hear crazy drug problem stories to be quite honest. Ian Kinsler is also someone I like. I like his socks. In a perfect world, the Rangers would get through the AL, then beat the Phillies in 7 games, with Cliff Lee beating them in games 1, 4 and 7 to shove it up their ass for trading him.

NFL West Preview

Tampa Bay – Detroit 187

Why Detroit 187? –

It looks like it could be awful, but is surprisingly good.

Analysis – This young offense could surprise some people. I like Mike Williams and Josh Freeman to have some big connections. The defense is not like the old Warren Sapp-led D, but it isn’t horrible. Six or seven wins is a possibility.

Favorite Player – LeGarrett Blount. Good right hook.

Least Favorite Player – Kellen Winslow. I don’t like warriors.

2009 Record – 3-13
2010 Prediction – 6-10

New Orleans – Jersey Shore

Why Jersey Shore? –

The Saints and Jersey Shore are sweeping the nation. Bandwagon jumpers. Katrina and GTL are everywhere. Still. Sean Payton’s visers and hair reminds me of something Pauly D would do.

Analysis – A lot of people are down on the Saints this year. They looked bad in week one against the Vikings, and really should have lost to the Vikings in the NFC Title game last year. But they won both games. Then they won the Super Bowl. They know how to win, and I don’t see that changing.

Favorite Player – Drew Brees. He really is a good guy.

Least Favorite Player – Reggie Bush. Douche.

2009 Record – 13-3

2010 Prediction – 12-4

Atlanta – The Black Donnellys

Why The Black Donnelly’s?

– The Vick era, and the Donnelly’s ended before their time, and were both pretty cool. Well, maybe not the Vick era.

Favorite Player – Michael Turner. He is going to have a big year. Maybe.

Least Favorite Player – Morten Anderson. Wait, he isn’t there anymore?

2009 Record – 9-7

2010 Prediction – 10-6

Carolina – Castle

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Why Castle? – Nobody watches Castle, except my dad. Nobody watches the Panthers either. Not even my dad.

Analysis – Steve Smith. Good. Rest of team. Bad. I hope John Fox gets fired, then gets hired as the Vikings coach next year. He went to the Super Bowl with Jake Delhomme. That's gotta mean something.

Favorite Player – Steve Smith. I just feel bad for him.

Least Favorite Player – Jonathan Stewart. He is my least favorite at least until he picks up his fantasy points. Come on Stewart.

2009 Record – 8-8

2010 Prediction – 5-11

NFC West Preview

San Francisco 49ers – E.R.

Why E.R.? – E.R. was THE show of the last 15 years or so. Seinfeld may have been the show of the 90’s, but E.R. wasn’t far behind. It is a classic and a lot of old people like it. In the waning years of the show, many people that were new to TV watching (aka youngsters) probably wondered what all the hype was about. E.R. had such a good following and was apparently such a good show that people stuck with it through the last years. The 49ers are the same way. People who have only been watching football for the last 10 years probably wonder why so many people aged 26-45 are 49ers fans. They are 49ers fans for basically three reasons (although there are others): Joe Montana, Steve Young, and Jerry Rice. The Niners ruled the late 80’s and early 90’s. They were the cool team of the 80’s, and battled the Cowboys in the 90’s to hang on to that title. Now, the Niners appear to be back on track led by Mike Singletary. Good thing some of those fans stuck around. Let’s hope Singletary’s pants stick around all year.

Analysis – To be honest, I wrote these last 12 or 15 teams analysis after the 1st week, but the records were predicted before the season started. For that reason I will not change the 49ers 11 win prediction, which looks awfully tough now. They have a ton of offensive weapons, including Vernon Davis, Michael Crabtree and Frank Gore. Alex Smith has to be terrible this year for the 49ers to miss the playoffs, but, he is Alex Smith, so that is a possibility.

Favorite Player – Patrick Willis. He is just really good.

Least Favorite Player – Alex Smith. He is just not really good. Yet.

2009 Record – 8-8

2010 Prediction – 11-5



St. Louis – Heroes

Why Heroes? – The Rams started the last decade as the “it” team in the NFL. “The Greatest Show On Turf” was poised for a long string of Super Bowl titles. They won a few, gained a lot of fans, made a star out of Kurt Warner, and even made Mike Martz look good. Then it all came crashing down. For the last four or five years, the Rams have probably been the worst franchise in professional football. They had no direction, they wasted draft picks, they didn’t win many games, and the fans quit showing up. Heroes suffered a similar fate during the last two seasons. It was the cool show for a couple years. It was THE show that ruled Comic Con. Then season three was sub-par and critics said season four was terrible. Apparently the writers had lost their way. Heroes is canceled. The Rams are still a team, led by promising rookie Sam Bradford. If they are any better remains to be seen.

Analysis – The Rams will be bad again. Sam Bradford at least provides a little interest and a reason to watch them. I wouldn’t expect many points to be scored by St. Louis unless Stephen Jackson absolutely goes off and breaks a long run every game. The defense is improved but still bad. They are finally headed in the right direction, but the results won’t be seen this year.

Favorite Player – Stephen Jackson. He is a premier back in the league, but you wouldn’t know it because of how bad the rest of the Rams have been. He apparently works really hard, on both his game and his hair.

Least Favorite Player – Chris Long. I like Howie better.

2009 Record – 1-15

2010 Prediction – 2-14



Arizona – The O.C.
Why The O.C.? – The Cardinals came out blazing for a year or two. The hottest thing in football (except the Steelers I suppose). Kurt Warner (Sandy Cohen) has resurrected his career. Larry Fitzgerald and Anquin Boldin (Seth Cohen and Ryan Atwood) were everywhere, and the Cardinals defense (Summer Roberts) was there to steal the show at times. The overrated beauty was still on the bench (Matt Lienert AKA Marissa Cooper), and was really unneeded for a good game/show. Then everything kind of fell apart. Stories got screwed up, routes were always overthrown, quarterbacks retired, characters left. The O.C. was canceled after only four of my favorite seasons of TV ever (maybe leave out Season 3), and now it appears the Cardinals window has closed after only two or three years of contention.

Analysis – The talent is there, mainly named Larry Fitzgerald, but no team can win many games with Derek Anderson taking the snaps. That is all.

Favorite Player – Larry Fitzgerald. There should be an NFL rule that if you were once a team’s ballboy, that team can use a 6th rounder to draft you. Wouldn’t that be nice Vikings fans?
Least Favorite Player – Beenie Wells. He is the Blimpe spokesperson. Really Blimpe? Really?
2009 Record – 10-6

2010 Prediction – 6-10



Seattle – Grey’s

Why Grey’s? – Obviously both are in Seattle. Duh. The other reason I chose Grey’s is that both are full of drama. Pete Carroll has brought more drama to Seattle than McDreamy. His whole “legacy” he left behind at USC is blowing up in everybody’s face, except Pete Carroll. Somehow he gets off scot free. How? I don’t know. He apparently is the McDreamy of the football coaching world. Pete can do no wrong because of his positive outlook on life. He will “Win Forever”. (Sidenote: I read the first two chapters of Win Forever, then promptly dropped it back off at the library. Terrible book.)

Analysis – I do not think very highly of the 2010 Seattle Seahawks. They looked awfully good in week one, but I wouldn’t get used to those wins. My prediction is probably low, but so be it. The Seahawks have some young talent, and Matt Hasselbeck is still effective when healthy. However, he is usually not healthy, and their young talent isn’t good enough to win many games this year.

Favorite Player – Matt Hasselbeck. Hot wife.

Least Favorite Player – Matt Hasselbeck. Crazy wife.

2009 Record – 5-11

2010 Prediction – 3-13

NFC North Preview

Green Bay Packers – Seinfeld

Why Seinfeld? –

Seinfeld is considered the best TV show of all time. The Packers are considered the best franchise of all time. Seinfeld is about nothing. Besides the Packers, Green Bay is about nothing. Michael Richards became hated after leaving Seinfeld. Bret Favre became hated after leaving Green Bay. Seinfeld had the Soup Nazi. Green Bay has football Nazis. Jerry Seinfeld wrote a bestselling book. Vince Lombardi wrote a bestselling book. Finally, all Green Bay fans from Green Bay look somewhat like George Costanza or Newman.

Analysis – I really like the Packers this year. I think their offense is improved over a year ago, and the offense last year wasn’t too shabby. Aaron Rodgers is going to have a huge year. Jermichael Finley, Greg Jennings and Donald Driver should benefit from Rodgers’ huge year. The offensive line has improved which should give Rodgers more time in the pocket. And, the defense will be good, led by recently re-signed to an extension Charles Woodson. The Pack are a scary team. I am predicting 13 wins from Green Bay this year. With that being said, with only one backup QB on the roster, that being Matt Flynn from LSU, the Packers are one Rodgers injury away from being a six or seven win team.

Favorite Player – Charles Woodson. When I was little, although I’ve always been a Hawkeye, I was fascinated by Michigan football. I think it was the helmets that got me hooked. The team with Brian Griese and Charles Woodson is my all-time favorite non-Iowa college football team. I still like Woodson and think he is one of the best defensive players ever in both college football and the NFL.

Least Favorite Player – Al Harris. He is a turd.

2009 Record – 11-5

2010 Prediction – 13-3

Minnesota Vikings – The Office

Why The Office? –

It didn’t take long to weed out the real Office fans. After about season two or three, an unexpected number of fans started turning on the show by saying it had “Jumped the Shark” and needed to end. I may be in the minority, but I thought seasons five and six were fantastic. The Office is a show that can be a week to week pleasure, without a great storyline. The acting is subperb, the characters are hilarious, and the show itself is one of my all time favorites. The Vikings are in somewhat the same boat. Everybody loved the Favre pickup, but it didn’t take long for people to jump off the ship, so to speak. Already this season, after one loss, people are saying Tarvaris Jackson is a better answer at quarterback. People love Chris Johnson (30 Rock) and forget about Adrian Peterson (The Office). People forget how great the spporting cast of the Vikings and the Office are. Jared Allen, Percy Harvin, Vinchante Shianco, Chad Greenway, The Williams’s, Sidney Rice (when healthy), and Bernard Barrian, just to name a few are about as talented as Jim, Pam, Dwight and the Nard Dog. Just because they don’t have the hype this year like in years past, don’t count out the Vikings or The Office without giving them a chance. It is Favre and Michael Scott’s last run. Those guys are capable of making it a real good one.

Analysis – I am a pessimist. 20 years of being an Indians, Pacers and Vikings fan has made me that way. I am extremely worried about the 2010 Vikings. Injuries and lack of practice has shown to be problems. Favre looks old, but Jackson is terrible. AP looks great, but Chester Taylor is gone. The receivers are solid, but Rice is hurt and Harvin had very little action in camp. The Vikings have an extremely tough schedule this year. They could match last year’s 12 wins, or they could go about 6-10 and I wouldn’t be surprised. I think the keys for the Vikings are keeping Favre healthy and getting the receivers on the same page as Favre, having either Albert Young or Toby Gerheart establish themselves as a competent backup for Peterson, and being 2-1 at the end of week three. They have a bye in week four, so they must beat the Dolphins and Lions to feel decent after three games. If they can do that, and get healthy by week five or six, they have a realistic chance of making the playoffs. If this team makes the playoffs, they have enough talent to beat anybody. The question is: can a 41 year old Favre stay healthy enough to get them into the playoffs and then perform in them?

Favorite Player – Chad Greenway. This is too hard to pick because I love the Vikings and everybody is my favorite player. I could have easily said Adrian Peterson, or Jared Allen, or Brett Favre. I chose Greenway because I like to sport my purple Greenway #52 jersey, and he is a Hawkeye.

Least Favorite Player – Brad Childress. I am making an exception here by picking the coach. This team is 1-0 with a different coach. Childress’s 2nd half game plan in New Orleans was terrible. I hate him and hope the Vikings fire him after this season, even though I know they wont.

2009 Record – 12-4

2010 Prediction – 9-7

Detroit Lions – Prison Break

Why Prison Break? – Nobody wants to be in prison. Up until recently, nobody wanted to be in Detroit. The Lions are starting to “break” the mold of former Lions teams (like that play on words?). They have finally had some good draft picks, seem to have a good quarterback in place, and some real direction in the front office. The Lions have been stuck in NFL Prison for as long as I can remember, maybe Stafford, Best and Johnson can finally break them out and into the greener pastures of the playoffs.

Analysis – I like the Lions this year. They should be 1-0, even without a healthy Stafford for the second half. Stupid fucking Bears. If the worst rule in the history of sports hadn’t ruled Calvin Johnson’s touchdown an incomplete pass, the Lions would have won an opener on the road! The defense has improved. Ndamukong Suh is a stud already. Jahvid Best has some serious explosiveness at running back. Calvin Johnson has as much talent as any receiver in the league, and Matt Stafford is getting better every week. When healthy, that is. I don’t think the Lions will make the playoffs this year, but I think they are moving in the right direction. Finally.

Favorite Player – Matt Stafford. I usually don’t like guys from the SEC, but I thought Stafford handled himself very well last year as a quarterback coming into a tough situation.

Least Favorite Player – Shaun Hill. He is terrible.

2009 Record – 2-14

2010 Prediction – 3-13

Chicago – Will and Grace

Why Will and Grace? – The Bears are gay.

Analysis – I always tend to overestimate the Bears because my lifelong sports fandom has made me a pessimist. My head tells me the Bears will be subpar this year, but my heart, which hates the Bears, tells me they could be decent and possibly make a playoff push. I would hate to see the Bears in the playoffs, even if it does mean a one and done, which it would inevitably be. The new Mike Matrz offense is a big hype machine, but really, who cares? Martz has done nothing good since taking over Dick Vermeil’s St. Louis team. Jay Cutler will put up big numbers this year. Those numbers will come in good and bad forms. A lot of yards, and a lot of turnovers. Matt Forte is overrated. He is the Giovanny Soto of football. That means his career year may be behind him. Keep in mind, Forte only had two 100 yard rushing games in 2009, both against the Lions. Chester Taylor is a good addition at the running back position. I’m not crazy about the Bears defense, although a healthy Brian Urlacher will help. I do like the receiving core of Johnny Knox and Devin Aromashodu, but I do not love them. The Bears have 8-8 written all over them, but they will get lucky a couple times, as the Bears tend to do, and win nine or ten games.

Favorite Player – Chester Taylor. I hate the fact the Vikings did not resign Chester Taylor. I think he will show Chicago fans he is better than Matt Forte. Chester runs hard, catches well, and is one of the best pass blocking backs in the league. He will be missed.

Least Favorite Player – Jay Cutler. I don’t think even Bears fans like Jay Cutler. He has more turnovers than a bakery. His smug attitude makes me wish Ditka was still the coach to slap it out of him. He has a strong arm, sure, but what does it matter when his strong passes usually fall into the hands of the opposing safteys?

2009 Record – 7-9

2010 Prediction – 9-7

NFC East Preview

Dallas Cowboys – Rock of Love

Why Rock of Love? –

Poison front man Bret Michaels was as cool as cool can be in the 80’s and early 90’s. He was the personification of a “rock star”. Then he left the lime light for many years and was thought of as somewhat of a punch line. Only the real Poison fans still loved Bret Michaels. The old ageing hipster who was not as cool as he thought he was. In the late 2000’s, Bret made a splash with Rock of Love and he was back. Bret was cool again. Women between the ages of 16 and 50 loved him, and guys (me included, as evidenced by my 2008 Halloween costume), wanted to be him. His career, while a few years ahead on the timeline, has paralled the Dallas Cowboys of the last 20 years. I know the Cowboys had some die-hard fans during the Tom Landry era who stuck with them until they became “America’s Team” in the 90’s with Aikman, Smith and Irvin, but many fans, including thousands of kids my age, became Dallas bandwagon fans. I think I saw more Cowboys starter jackets at recess than all other teams combined. After the Aikman years, the Boys had some hard times. I suppose I will give the 90’s bandwagon fans some credit if they stuck by them during this period. You are off the hook if you truly stood by the team during the late 90’s and early 2000’s. By 2008, with Tony Romo becoming a star, the Cowboys were getting some fans back and building the most breathtaking stadium known to man. This means more bandwagon fans. I applaud the fans who stuck with Bret Michaels and the Cowboys through thick and thin, seriously, I do, but even they have to admit, the bandwagoners get a little annoying. I know how it is. I met a lot more Vikings fans than ever before last season, and I saw a lot of Indians fans in 2007 that I haven’t seen since. It is tough for a real fan to see these guys jumping on the bandwagon, but it is the nature of sports fandom. So to you true Cowboys and Bret Michaels fans, touché and good luck. To the bandwagon jumpers, You are a rose thorn in my ass.

Analysis – I don’t like the Dallas defense. I don’t know a ton about them, but the last time I saw the Dallas D, they were being punished by the Vikings. Even if the defense is sub-par, this offense should be good enough to get them into the playoffs. I’m no Tony Romo fan, but with Marion Barber, Felix Jones carrying the ball and opening up the pass, and Miles Austin, Dez Bryant and Jason Witten catching his passes, he will have big numbers. I am interested to see how Bryant actually performs against an NFL secondary. Hopefully better than his mentor Deion did when he played offense. The Cowboys were a popular pick to make and win the Super Bowl a month ago. Then, the experts saw the preseason and changed their mind. I think the hate piled on the Cowboys over the last couple weeks was completely unfounded. Who gives a shit about the preseason? They will be in the playoffs and be a real contender to win it all.

Favorite Player – Miles Austin. Not a fan of his, but I have him in fantasy so he might as well do good.

Least Favorite Player – Tony Romo. Romo is getting better. I admit that. He was however anointed as an elite NFL QB without doing much of anything a couple years ago. He was completely undeserving of the praise, although he is starting to earn a little of it, but just a little. Add that to the fact I just plain don’t like him very much, and he is from Eastern Illinois, which I equate with Jake Christensen. Bad combination.

2009 Record – 11-5

2010 Prediction – 12-4

Washington Redskins – LOST

Why LOST? –

The last season of LOST was so anticipated and talked about that I could hardly contain the excitement. I would rush home from work every Tuesday and fire up the DVR to watch the newest episode, and be thoroughly confused the whole time. The Redskins 2010 season has been just as anticipated and talked about. The McNabb addition, the return of Mike Shanahan, and the Albert Haynesworth soap opera all contributed to this excitement. Just like LOST, I have no idea what the Redskins will do this year. There is many different ways I could see the Skins season going, I’m just glad one of them isn’t an alternate universe, cause that gets too confusing.

Analysis – Like I said before, I really have no feel for the Redskins. I’m predicting seven wins, but I could see it going anywhere between four and ten really. It all depends how Clinton Portis returns this year, how McNabb adjusted to his new teammates, namely Santana Moss and Chris Cooley, and how Shanahan’s defense plays, with or without Haynesworth. It is no secret that McNabb gets banged up a lot, and if he does this year, the Skins are in trouble. The backup is Rex Grossman.

Favorite Player – Donovan McNabb. I used to really like McNabb in Philly. Everybody was riding the Michael Vick train, and I steadfastly claimed McNabb was better than Vick. Always was better as far as I am concerned. I just wish the Vikings had made a play for McNabb this offseason.

Least Favorite Player –Albert Haynesworth. Come on Albert, I know your fat, and need to be large to do your job effectively, but get in good enough shape to tale Shanahan’s silly test. Eat a salad.

2009 Record – 4-12

2010 Prediction – 7-9

Philadelphia Eagles – It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Why Always Sunny? –

There really isn’t anything about the actual Eagles team that reminds me of Always Sunny, but I have learned Eagles fans are not that much more sane than the guys running Paddy’s Pub. I went to Philly this summer, and although I wish I had someone who knew the city to show me around, I wasn’t overly impressed. I would like to go again and see if with some guidance I would like it more. The people were not friendly, the city made me feel more unsafe than when I had to exit the New York Subway in Harlem, and the mall downtown by the big Paul Revere sucked. On the bright side, the cheesesteaks were awesome, Citizen’s Bank Ballpark was cool, and the waitresses at McFadden’s were unbelievably good looking. After my short time in Philly, I think Mac, Dennis and Charlie would fit right in at an Eagles game, and probably not be the craziest or rudest people there. It’s just part of Philly being Philly.

Analysis – I really like the Eagles receivers Jeremy Maclin and DeSean Jackson, and running back LeSean McCoy. However, and I may be in the minority here, but I don’t think Kevin Kolb will be a very good NFL quarterback. I just never liked what I saw from him when filling in with McNabb. That’s all I have to base my opinion on, but it wasn’t good. I still think they have an outside shot at the playoffs because of their athleticism on both offense and defense, but it will be tough.

Favorite Player – Jeremy Maclin. Maclin was extremely fun to watch at Missouri, and he still is.

Least Favorite Player - Michael Vick. He will always win this award, no matter how long he plays and who he plays for.

2009 Record – 11-5

2010 Prediction – 9-7

New York Giants – The Sopranos

Why The Sopranos? –

When I went to New York, I stayed at a Red Roof Inn on Meadowlands Parkway in Secaucus, New Jersey. I could literally see the Meadowlands from my hotel room. The River there, I believe it is the East River, made me ponder how many bodies are floating in the bottom of it. I’ll be honest, New York made me want to join the mafia. Where do I sign up? The Giants always struck me as the “mafia” team. The Jets were usually loveable, or hateable, losers, but the Giants are New York. I don’t recall what team Tony Soprano and Pauly Walnuts supported, but I would not have been surprised to have seen them walking along the East River, with the Meadowlands in the background, talking about happenings at the Bada-Bing, while both wearing Eli Manning jerseys. Scratch that, Lawrence Taylor jerseys.

Analysis – The Giants were 8-8 last year, and I don’t know if they did anything to better themselves. Eli is still a bitch. Mario Manningham, Hakim Nix and Steve Smith should be decent. Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs are also serviceable. The defensive line is tough. But all these things remind me of last year. With the Cowboys and Redskins improving, and the Eagles being a dangerously athletic team capable of winning some games, I don’t see how the Giants could improve by more than a game or two.

Favorite Player – Mario Manningham. I liked him at Michigan and picked him late in my fantasy draft as a sleeper. He is often overlooked and a solid receiver.

Least Favorite Player – Eli Manning. As much as I love Peyton Manning, I dislike Eli the same amount.

2009 Record – 8-8

2010 Prediction – 8-8

AFC West Preview

Oakland Raiders – Sons of Anarchy

Why SOA? – I have to be honest, I seen only one episode of Sons of Anarchy, ever. I do plan on getting caught up on the DVDs asap. I’ve heard from some reliable sources I would like it. I’m sure you wonder how I could compare a team to Sons of Anarchy since I have never seen it. The answer is threefold. First, The Raiders fans are notoriously the most rabid and frightening fans in all of sports. If any group of fans is going to form an outlaw biker gang, or likely already has formed one, its Raider fans. Second, both Sons of Anarchy and the post-Jamarcus Raiders are unknowns to me. How good are the Raiders receivers with a competent quarterback throwing to them? With a decent passing game, could Darren McFadden become the back many thought he was coming out of college? Is Robert Gallery still alive? And for that matter, is the movie Weekend At Bernie’s based off of Al Davis, who I know is a corpse? All unknowns in my book. Third, I am legitimately excited for watching both SOA and the 2010 Raiders. I kind of like the Raiders, my dad likes the Raiders and I have always liked their uniforms. Plus, I just think football is better with a good Raider team. Could be an interesting 2010 for Jason Campbell’s bunch.

Analysis – I think the AFC South is going to be won by the Chargers. Let’s not get crazy picking anybody else. With that being said, I do think either the Raiders or the Chiefs will have a breakout year. I think the Raiders are finally moving in the right direction. They are not like the Lions or Rams who had high draft picks and constantly wasted them. The Raiders picked a QB and a RB that were supposed to be can’t-miss superstars. Jamarcus is long gone, but McFadden still has time to develop into a star. The Raiders just had bad luck. I think with Jason Campbell running the ship it could be a different feeling in Oakland. I don’t know how many wins will come out of this new direction this year, but I do think they are headed in the right direction.

Favorite Player – Sebastian Janikowski. Still holds the record for most badass kicker in college football history. Not my favorite mind you, he will come later, but the most badass.

Least Favorite Player – Michael Bennett. Somehow he is still on an NFL roster after bombing with the Vikings. I don’t hate him, I just wish he would have lived up to the hype when wearing the purple and yellow.

2009 Record – 5-11

2010 Prediction – 6-10

San Diego Chargers – Psych

Why Psych? –

First of all, let me preface this by saying that this summer I decided to delve into the four season of Psych, and it was one of the best choices I have ever made. I don’t typically watch shows that my dad watches (Two and a Half Men, The Lone Ranger, Anything with Steven Segal), but Psych is the exception. Shawn and Gus may be the funniest duo on TV today. Add that with Juliet’s loveableness and Roger Dorn hitting cleanup, and you have yourself an outstanding show. So why Psych? The location connection comes into play again, since Psych is set in Santa Barbara. The real reason I chose Psych is because it is overlooked. Psych should be getting more attention and getting more positive press than it does. I understand it is on USA, which doesn’t do it any favors, but it is a very good show. The Chargers are always overlooked as well. Even though they have failed to make a Super Bowl since the Stan Humphries team that got drilled by Steve Young and the Niners, the Chargers have been a real contender for five or six years now, yet nobody mentions them in the preseason. They will make the playoffs this year, and who’s to say the chargers don’t make a Super Bowl run? My psychic ability says it is a possibility.

Analysis – Even though I like the Chiefs and Raiders to make improvements this year, I think the AFC West is the Chargers to lose. They should win this division comfortably. I went into this preview thinking the Chargers may have lost a step since last year, but their schedule is so damn easy. I still see them winning 11 or 12 games, even without LT and possibly Vincent Jackson. Phillip Rivers is a douche, but he is good. Ryan Matthews is being heralded as the second coming of LT. The receivers may not suffer too bad without Jackson. Macolm Floyd and Legedu Nene could be serious fantasy sleepers this year. Also, don’t forget about Antonio Gates. They still have Nate Kaeding kicking field goals, which is a good thing, until January. The defense is the question mark. It will certainly be good enough to get them into the playoffs, the question will be is it good enough to get them any playoff wins.

Favorite Player – Nate Kaeding. I love the Iowa boys. The best college kicker I have ever seen has become a great pro kicker. The playoff chokes of Kaeding are a fluke. I don’t like the Chargers, but I wouldn’t mind seeing them win a playoff game with a Kaeding field goal to silence the critics, for at least a week. Also, I heard Nate bought Todd Lickleiter’s old house, which is sweet. Maybe he burnt it down.

Least Favorite Player – Tie between Phillip Rivers and Vincent Jackson. I don’t like Rivers because he is a crybaby. I don’t like Jackson because I drafted him decently high in fantasy thinking he was too stupid to hold on all year and would sign by opening day. Guess I was wrong.
2009 Record – 13-3

2010 Prediction – 11-5

Kansas City Chiefs – Doug

Why Doug? –

Two staples of my childhood: Doug Funny and the Chiefs. I remember seeing Chiefs stuff everywhere as a child. I realize we are pretty close to Kansas City living in Davenport. It’s an incredibly easy drive from Iowa City. But even with the close proximity, it seemed like there was a lot of Chiefs fans in the 90’s, and they have largely disappeared. They were always an entertaining team to watch I thought, and Chiefs fans are notoriously friendly, as documented in the book “Bury me in my Jersey” about a Philly fan who went to an Eagle’s game in KC and was appalled by the friendliness of Chiefs fans. Doug Funny was always Mr. Nice Guy, was entertaining, and has largely disappeared from my life. I bet Doug was a Chiefs fan. (I’m sure you can tell I struggled to find a show to represent the Chiefs if this is the best I could do.)

Analysis – As I said in the Raiders section, one of these teams is going to have a bounce back year. I think the Chiefs get back to .500 this year, which would be a big deal in KC. The Chiefs have one of the loudest stadiums in the league, when it is sold out, which hasn’t been much lately. Matt Cassel should improve in year two of being a Chief, and I love their running game with Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones. The receiving core should be pretty decent this year too, with Dwayne Bowe and Dexter McCluster catching Cassel’s passes. To be 100% honest, I know next to nothing about the Chiefs defense. I think the Chiefs offense will put some points on the board, so if the defense is good at all, they will win some games and be an exciting team to watch.

Favorite Player – Jamaal Charles. I like Charles because I spent a pretty high fantasy pick on his services. The second half of last year he was the second rated back in the NFL behind Chris Johnson. That will probably diminish a little bit with Thomas Jones taking carries away, but I still could see Charles having a big year.

Least Favorite Player – Glenn Dorsey. I’m not crazy about big fat guys from LSU. (See, Russell, Jamarcus and O’Neal, Shaquille)

2009 Record – 4-12

2010 Prediction – 8-8

Denver Broncos – Everybody Loves Raymond

Why Raymond? – I don’t love Raymond. In fact, I don’t even like him very much. That show was boring and considered an all time great show. Most people that do like Raymond are either old or boring themselves. I don’t like the Denver Broncos either. When I was young, I had an unexplainable hatred of John Elway. I don’t hate him anymore, but he reminded me of Mr. Ed and I just never liked him. I don’t like Denver fans. They suck. I don’t like nose bleeds or thin air. Brady Quinn and Tim Tebow are two of my least favorite college quarterbacks of all time. Raymond may have had some funny episodes here and there, and the Broncos may have had a player I liked here and there, but overall, I am not a fan of either.

Analysis – I picked Denver to win six games, but I’m starting to think that may be a little generous. This team is not good. I would understand giving Brady Quinn a chance if he wasn’t starting in Green Bay or Indianapolis, but he couldn’t hold down the starting role in fucking Cleveland! How bad can you be if you can’t start for the Browns? Knowshon Moreno could have a good season, or he could have nagging injuries all season. Hard to tell. Not crazy about any of the receivers, the tight ends or the defense. I also am not sold on Josh McDaniel. His fist pumps got old last year. Not feeling the 2010 Broncos.

Favorite Player – Kyle Orton. I have many mixed feelings about Kyle Orton. He is from Iowa and claims to love Iowa, but he went to Purdue. He was a Bear, but they gave up on him for Jay Douche Bag Cutler. He is now friends with Tebow and Brady Quinn, but he beat them out for the starting job. He usually has a sweet beard. The beard wins out.

Least Favorite Player – Tim Tebow. I was so worried a team I like (Vikings or Colts) would pick Tebow and I would have to cheer for him. Thanks Broncos.

2009 Record – 8-8

2010 Prediction – 6-10